Hound dog
Nana's are Beautiful
The weekend with kayla and alex has be great. Other than normal kid stuff........and alex being alex.......we've had no real issues. The kids are having a wonderful time.
So ok obviously that isn't the problem....... lol
I've know since they got here that both alex and Evan are babied........FYI this is extreme, not just pampering.
Well, I had to laugh because Katie sent "instructions" with the kids. Okkkkkk.......hmmm I haven't raise 4 along with oh, I dunno how many of Nichole's friends not to mention how many neighborhood kids along the way. easy child is on her 3rd child, geez We're both nurses. I think we can handle a 9 and 10 yr old without instructions. LMAO But we both got a huge laugh out of it anyway and I guess it does show she cares on her part.
Kayla's were age appropriate. You know, make sure she really brushes her teeth ect. Foods she does/doesn't like, which is irrelevant in our family because you eat what is set before you or you don't eat. No fuss, no muss, just the way it is, the way it always has been.
Alex's on the other had were ridiculous for a 9 yr old and I don't care if he is a special child or not. She wanted easy child to physically bathe him. Seriously? You're kidding? He can't put soap on a rag, scrub himself and rinse off? Please. omg She had on there that easy child would have to button his pants and help him dress. Really?? She wanted him to sleep with his batman blanket. (ok this one isn't too bad at least. Then listed foods he refused to eat. Ok same rule applies to him, sorry. And went on and on about how he will drill you nonstop over everything from the menu of every meal to every movement/activity of the day. Hmm. We knew that one already.
While I get the maternal concern....... MY concern is that Alex's are soooo age inappropriate that it's not even funny. It's not even geared toward his level of functioning. Yes, developmentally he is hovering at between 4-5 yrs. Last time I checked, while a child at that level may need some supervision......they are capable of putting soap onto a rag, lathering up and rinsing off. They can dress themselves. At least all of mine were including Travis.
Surprise. The boy has done just fine. And holy moly he can button his own pants. geez
Yup. He did the 1 million questions over meals, activities, you name it. He got answered once, an honest answer which means if we didn't know, then get over it we don't know. After that he got ignored. Totally. We didn't answer the same question twice. I watched the questioning become less and less........just as both easy child and I figured it would. Both Katie and M feel compelled to answer him every single time........does not help that they allow him to get up in their faces and he refuses to move until they tell him something.
Kayla says to me, but grandma that is just how he is, it's part of his "condition".
I replied, "yes dear it is how he is, and he won't learn to do better unless someone teaches him"
"But grandma he can't help it."
"Yes Kayla he can, if he is taught. Travis does not act that way because he was taught not to act that way."
Oh boy.
Kayla got quiet and sat and thought that one over for a while, she also noticed that her brother did not do things with us that he does with his parents. Why? We just simply refuse to tolerate it. Never a raised voice. Momma voice was used once or twice. But we expected, he delivered.
He has done very well. Kayla has done well too.......but I do see some gfgness in there that is concerning me now that I've spent time with her away from her parents. She is majorly role confused. She is not sure if she is an adult or child. She received a few of those momma looks herself. (they respond well to that by the way lol ) And she is having some serious reading/spelling issues. I should not be telling a 10 yr old how to spell "girl" and many other 4 letter words, she should have those down by now. I should not be having to read her Little House on the Prarie, she should be able to read it to herself. Do I think it is dyslexia? I don't know.......I'm not seeing signs of it so far.....I'm seeing a child who does not read or spell well for her age group. I see no letter reversal, word substitution ect. Her skills just seem poor. Although I may pick up more later.....I just didn't see it this weekend.
Another concern, she spins some of the wildest tales I've ever heard. lol A concern but not a huge one as she could just have a great imagination.
Did have an odd moment. I made my homemade cocoa, popcorn and husband set up things so we could watch xmas cartoons. I put in Santa Claus is coming to town..........now if you know that one then you know the part where the winter warlock is singing about how to change? She was hiding it but she was crying. Because she was hiding it, I didn't bring it into the open. She recovered once the song was over. Not sure what that was about as she was fine after that clear until she fell asleep.
Ok. I need input on how to maybe approach this treating your kids like they're infants thing with katie and M where hopefully they'll listen and not just take offense and not hear what they really need to hear. I mean yes, I get Alex is a special needs child, I've raised my own. But that doesn't justify treating him like a 9 yr old toddler when he is capable of doing for himself most of what is apparently done for him. And we already know she's treating Evan the same way only more so. The school brought it up and Katie got defensive. She was not pleased that I backed them up.
I do plan on highly recommending to her 123 Magic and the Ross Greene books. Katie certainly needs some sort of guide.......perhaps reading it in print will help it sink in and give her some skills for parenting the kids, most especially the difficult child boys.
This is not only sad but ridiculous. Alex is slow in learning, he's obviously autistic. Seriously? That is it. That doesn't mean he can't be taught rules of proper behavior, manners, and independent behavior. In fact I see no reason so far that he can't learn those things like any other child. He certainly responded just fine to both easy child and I, and he does to his teachers at school as well. Alex may not progress much further academically.......staff hinted at that as he is not progressing much at all....snails pace would be faster, even with interventions in place. He needs to learn independent living skills, and to start learning those skills as soon as possible so that by the time he reaches adulthood they're ingrained in him where he basically does it automatically. And from what I've seen so far with Evan, it's going to be the same scenerio.
Katie and M seriously lack parenting skills, there is no doubt. I'm just not sure how to bring that up without sounding like I'm attacking them (which is not what I'm trying to do ) and them getting defensive.
And I'm going to have to really lay it on her over Kayla's glasses. She's falling behind in 2 very important skills. She needs them yesterday.
Only big thing I saw with both is they have trouble understanding that adults decide, not children. There is no debate, no discussion. It's done. Period. (talking about situations in which this is appropriate) Both backed down when they saw we were budging, we couldn't/wouldn't be manipulated like their parents. But still, if their parents don't get this under control now........I predict in a year they're kids will be walking all over them. Alex already gets in katie's face and tells her what she is going to do or else. The or else part would give any difficult child on this board a run for their money. ugh And sad thing is..........I can see katie backing down.
She told me on fb chat on friday (and this is exactly how she words this sort of thing) M told me to tell you that you should be proud of me. A child took Evan's toy, this child has been hitting Evan for a week, Evan hit him and took his toy back. The mom went off on both Katie and Evan and evidently Katie actually stood up to her and told her off.
It took her a week? A week of watching her kid be hit by another kid? OMG I have my work cut out for me....................................
So ok obviously that isn't the problem....... lol
I've know since they got here that both alex and Evan are babied........FYI this is extreme, not just pampering.
Well, I had to laugh because Katie sent "instructions" with the kids. Okkkkkk.......hmmm I haven't raise 4 along with oh, I dunno how many of Nichole's friends not to mention how many neighborhood kids along the way. easy child is on her 3rd child, geez We're both nurses. I think we can handle a 9 and 10 yr old without instructions. LMAO But we both got a huge laugh out of it anyway and I guess it does show she cares on her part.
Kayla's were age appropriate. You know, make sure she really brushes her teeth ect. Foods she does/doesn't like, which is irrelevant in our family because you eat what is set before you or you don't eat. No fuss, no muss, just the way it is, the way it always has been.
Alex's on the other had were ridiculous for a 9 yr old and I don't care if he is a special child or not. She wanted easy child to physically bathe him. Seriously? You're kidding? He can't put soap on a rag, scrub himself and rinse off? Please. omg She had on there that easy child would have to button his pants and help him dress. Really?? She wanted him to sleep with his batman blanket. (ok this one isn't too bad at least. Then listed foods he refused to eat. Ok same rule applies to him, sorry. And went on and on about how he will drill you nonstop over everything from the menu of every meal to every movement/activity of the day. Hmm. We knew that one already.
While I get the maternal concern....... MY concern is that Alex's are soooo age inappropriate that it's not even funny. It's not even geared toward his level of functioning. Yes, developmentally he is hovering at between 4-5 yrs. Last time I checked, while a child at that level may need some supervision......they are capable of putting soap onto a rag, lathering up and rinsing off. They can dress themselves. At least all of mine were including Travis.
Surprise. The boy has done just fine. And holy moly he can button his own pants. geez
Yup. He did the 1 million questions over meals, activities, you name it. He got answered once, an honest answer which means if we didn't know, then get over it we don't know. After that he got ignored. Totally. We didn't answer the same question twice. I watched the questioning become less and less........just as both easy child and I figured it would. Both Katie and M feel compelled to answer him every single time........does not help that they allow him to get up in their faces and he refuses to move until they tell him something.
Kayla says to me, but grandma that is just how he is, it's part of his "condition".
I replied, "yes dear it is how he is, and he won't learn to do better unless someone teaches him"
"But grandma he can't help it."
"Yes Kayla he can, if he is taught. Travis does not act that way because he was taught not to act that way."
Oh boy.
Kayla got quiet and sat and thought that one over for a while, she also noticed that her brother did not do things with us that he does with his parents. Why? We just simply refuse to tolerate it. Never a raised voice. Momma voice was used once or twice. But we expected, he delivered. He has done very well. Kayla has done well too.......but I do see some gfgness in there that is concerning me now that I've spent time with her away from her parents. She is majorly role confused. She is not sure if she is an adult or child. She received a few of those momma looks herself. (they respond well to that by the way lol ) And she is having some serious reading/spelling issues. I should not be telling a 10 yr old how to spell "girl" and many other 4 letter words, she should have those down by now. I should not be having to read her Little House on the Prarie, she should be able to read it to herself. Do I think it is dyslexia? I don't know.......I'm not seeing signs of it so far.....I'm seeing a child who does not read or spell well for her age group. I see no letter reversal, word substitution ect. Her skills just seem poor. Although I may pick up more later.....I just didn't see it this weekend.
Another concern, she spins some of the wildest tales I've ever heard. lol A concern but not a huge one as she could just have a great imagination.
Did have an odd moment. I made my homemade cocoa, popcorn and husband set up things so we could watch xmas cartoons. I put in Santa Claus is coming to town..........now if you know that one then you know the part where the winter warlock is singing about how to change? She was hiding it but she was crying. Because she was hiding it, I didn't bring it into the open. She recovered once the song was over. Not sure what that was about as she was fine after that clear until she fell asleep.
Ok. I need input on how to maybe approach this treating your kids like they're infants thing with katie and M where hopefully they'll listen and not just take offense and not hear what they really need to hear. I mean yes, I get Alex is a special needs child, I've raised my own. But that doesn't justify treating him like a 9 yr old toddler when he is capable of doing for himself most of what is apparently done for him. And we already know she's treating Evan the same way only more so. The school brought it up and Katie got defensive. She was not pleased that I backed them up.
I do plan on highly recommending to her 123 Magic and the Ross Greene books. Katie certainly needs some sort of guide.......perhaps reading it in print will help it sink in and give her some skills for parenting the kids, most especially the difficult child boys.
This is not only sad but ridiculous. Alex is slow in learning, he's obviously autistic. Seriously? That is it. That doesn't mean he can't be taught rules of proper behavior, manners, and independent behavior. In fact I see no reason so far that he can't learn those things like any other child. He certainly responded just fine to both easy child and I, and he does to his teachers at school as well. Alex may not progress much further academically.......staff hinted at that as he is not progressing much at all....snails pace would be faster, even with interventions in place. He needs to learn independent living skills, and to start learning those skills as soon as possible so that by the time he reaches adulthood they're ingrained in him where he basically does it automatically. And from what I've seen so far with Evan, it's going to be the same scenerio.
Katie and M seriously lack parenting skills, there is no doubt. I'm just not sure how to bring that up without sounding like I'm attacking them (which is not what I'm trying to do ) and them getting defensive.
And I'm going to have to really lay it on her over Kayla's glasses. She's falling behind in 2 very important skills. She needs them yesterday.
Only big thing I saw with both is they have trouble understanding that adults decide, not children. There is no debate, no discussion. It's done. Period. (talking about situations in which this is appropriate) Both backed down when they saw we were budging, we couldn't/wouldn't be manipulated like their parents. But still, if their parents don't get this under control now........I predict in a year they're kids will be walking all over them. Alex already gets in katie's face and tells her what she is going to do or else. The or else part would give any difficult child on this board a run for their money. ugh And sad thing is..........I can see katie backing down.
She told me on fb chat on friday (and this is exactly how she words this sort of thing) M told me to tell you that you should be proud of me. A child took Evan's toy, this child has been hitting Evan for a week, Evan hit him and took his toy back. The mom went off on both Katie and Evan and evidently Katie actually stood up to her and told her off.
It took her a week? A week of watching her kid be hit by another kid? OMG I have my work cut out for me....................................
We continued to hold the bar high behavior wise for him and he rose to the occasion. I plan to do some heavy duty bragging to Mom and Dad. Actually I plan to lay it on thick. lol Not a single repeated question today........no badgering over when the next meal would be or what would be on the menu, no attempting to zone out with a video game, and no tantrum when easy child told both boys today was a no video game day. I was very proud of him. Kayla did better remaining in the child role.....a few over looked slips....but she seemed to enjoy being a child today which is good.
