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I Cut Off Ties With My difficult child
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<blockquote data-quote="Andy" data-source="post: 153900" data-attributes="member: 5096"><p>Go to the family meeting - it is set up for the welfare of your grandchild and you have input that will only be heard at that meeting. Go into the meeting with a professional outlook - do not let difficult child engage you in anything that will make you react. You can feel anger, just keep it under control. If difficult child starts something that is not beneficial to the meeting, say, "Excuse me, but we are here to discuss your child's well being, I refuse to argue with you. I am here to give my input." The facilitator will keep it from getting too ugly. Remember, difficult child's behaviour at the meeting will also be documented if out of line. </p><p> </p><p>If you do not go to the meeting, it will go in grandson's record that you did not show interest. If you don't go, you may be keeping the courts from seeing your difficult child's true side.</p><p> </p><p>I understand keeping siblings together, however, how many half siblings do get to stay together in the real world? Many half siblings live in seperate addresses. Part of grandson's </p><p>anger could be the attention taken from him and given to the baby. He may feel that some of the neglect he experienced was because she needed attention? If the kids are not bonded, then there is no harm to seperate them. I would really look at their relationship before making the decision of seperating or not. Does he take his anger out on her? If so, they need to be seperated. His behavior can not be healthy for her.</p><p> </p><p>What a hard hard decision you had to make. Close to impossible but you did the right thing. You looked at the needs of both kids, not just your grandchild. The courts need to start looking at both kids as individuals, not a set.</p><p> </p><p>If you are a writer - start writing a list of what you want to bring up at the meeting. Having something in writing will help.</p><p> </p><p>difficult child is continuing to try to get you to solve all her problems -if you make sure things go the way she wants (even though that is not your reasons), then she still has control over the situation and will not change her ways. If her son ends up with someone else, she will need to deal with someone who she can not touch emotionally. That will make her learn to deal with things differently - just hope it means that she starts taking responsibility. So, I hope you get your grandchild for your sake but for difficult child's sake it may be o.k. if he is in foster care. Then I hope it is a foster care that will allow you visitations.</p><p> </p><p>Just can't see the answer to help everyone! It all comes down to which answer will allow you to continue to have an active part in your grandson's life.</p><p> </p><p>Go to the meeting!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Andy, post: 153900, member: 5096"] Go to the family meeting - it is set up for the welfare of your grandchild and you have input that will only be heard at that meeting. Go into the meeting with a professional outlook - do not let difficult child engage you in anything that will make you react. You can feel anger, just keep it under control. If difficult child starts something that is not beneficial to the meeting, say, "Excuse me, but we are here to discuss your child's well being, I refuse to argue with you. I am here to give my input." The facilitator will keep it from getting too ugly. Remember, difficult child's behaviour at the meeting will also be documented if out of line. If you do not go to the meeting, it will go in grandson's record that you did not show interest. If you don't go, you may be keeping the courts from seeing your difficult child's true side. I understand keeping siblings together, however, how many half siblings do get to stay together in the real world? Many half siblings live in seperate addresses. Part of grandson's anger could be the attention taken from him and given to the baby. He may feel that some of the neglect he experienced was because she needed attention? If the kids are not bonded, then there is no harm to seperate them. I would really look at their relationship before making the decision of seperating or not. Does he take his anger out on her? If so, they need to be seperated. His behavior can not be healthy for her. What a hard hard decision you had to make. Close to impossible but you did the right thing. You looked at the needs of both kids, not just your grandchild. The courts need to start looking at both kids as individuals, not a set. If you are a writer - start writing a list of what you want to bring up at the meeting. Having something in writing will help. difficult child is continuing to try to get you to solve all her problems -if you make sure things go the way she wants (even though that is not your reasons), then she still has control over the situation and will not change her ways. If her son ends up with someone else, she will need to deal with someone who she can not touch emotionally. That will make her learn to deal with things differently - just hope it means that she starts taking responsibility. So, I hope you get your grandchild for your sake but for difficult child's sake it may be o.k. if he is in foster care. Then I hope it is a foster care that will allow you visitations. Just can't see the answer to help everyone! It all comes down to which answer will allow you to continue to have an active part in your grandson's life. Go to the meeting! [/QUOTE]
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