I Did It, I Did It!!!

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by WiscKaren, Jan 19, 2008.

  1. WiscKaren

    WiscKaren New Member

    Hi everyone! First, thank you all for your support in my previous posting(s).

    Daughter called this afternoon, wondering if I could babysit for a few hours. Since its been a few weeks since I seen grandson, and I was surprised that she called, I said "Yes, for a few hours."

    She came over -- and I did it! I did not ask her how court went, what she was going to do that she needed a sitter, nor how the new sitter (who I cannot stand) is doing with baby while she is at work. (I was babysitting for her while she went to work, but she suddenly decided a new "friend" -- who I know has a criminal record -- should do it.) My daughter looked absolutely beat, but I did not even say anything about that!

    It was tense, but small talk was made. She even stayed over for supper. When she left, I gave baby a kiss and told my daughter "Love ya, take care of yourself." I did not ask her when I could see baby again (now that about killed me, but I bit my tongue).

    She did tell me she went out apartment hunting (she currently rents from us a 2-bedroom flat and we charge her $500/month) and she was telling me she couldn't find anything as nice for that much money and all I said there was, "I wish you the best of luck and I hope you can find something nice and affordable for you and baby." In the past, I would have been butting my nose into it, giving advice, telling what neighborhood she should go in or not go in, etc. etc.

    I'm so proud of myself!! I wouldn't have been able to do it without all your support! Thank you, thank you!
  2. jgreen03

    jgreen03 New Member

    Karen, Great job. I know how difficult it is not to try to get your kids to do it your way instead of letting them learn on there own. We always want what is best for them. Unfortunetly sometimes they have to learn the hard way until they really get it.
    I am proud of you.
  3. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    :bravo: Good job.
  4. standswithcourage

    standswithcourage New Member

    Good job! It is so hard not to give advice. I know I have to bite my tongue too. My daughter is newly married and I have to really watch what I say. I like the guy but of course I like her better! You did good.
  5. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Way To Go!!!!!! You have every reason to be proud. DDD
    PS: Now you have done it once, it will be easier nest time!
  6. Marcie Mac

    Marcie Mac Just Plain Ole Tired

    You definately get the detachment award of the month :smile:

    I have an older difficult child and the way she lives her life kinda makes my hair stand on end with unending bad relationship choices and a baby from each one..Its not like she hasent been in therapy and doesn't know why she keeps picking her dad with a different face over and over again in each guy she hooks up with. She is crawling up on 40 and doesn't want to acknowledge Ozzie and Harriet was just a TV show and Ozzie in real life was a horses patatotie..but she wants that life and will step over anyone and everyone and the dead bodies to get there.

    Unfortunately, my one bad failing was getting too involved and wanting to "help" dig her out of the holes she had dug for herself. And came to the realization I am way too old to be a ditch digger - I did my fair share of digging when I was younger, and it didn't kill me and it wouldn't kill her either.
    Not to mention the strain the swirling drama put on myself, my SO, not to mention her brothers who didn't get anything for their efforts to help out cept a good kick in the teeth on her way out the door on her way to her new misadventure.

    It gets easier each time just to smile, wave and wish them well on their journey thru life and not start biting your nails or reaching for that glass of wine when the door closes, wondering if she will be safe, if the grandkids will be ok..

    Ya did good

  7. Sue C

    Sue C Active Member

    You did a wonderful job, Karen! You have reason to be proud of yourself. :)

  8. Scent of Cedar II

    Scent of Cedar II New Member

    You DID do it, Wisckaren!

    The amazing thing is that, once we respond just a little differently, the whole dynamic of the relationship changes. If I could figure out where all the smiley faces went, I would put that one in where the little guy toasts you.

  9. mary9461

    mary9461 trying to hang on

    Great Job!! Keep it up
  10. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    :D *Standing Ovation* :D

    Awesome Job!!!

    And now that you've done it once, it will be even easier to do the next time, and the time after that. Then before you know it you and daughter will have a parent/adult child relationship. :D


    PS *notice I figured out how to place a couple of smilies on the new layout? lol*
  11. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911


    YOU GET AN A+ for YOUR EFFORTS - the first of many that will eventually become a habit.

  12. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE


    Good for you, Karen!!!

  13. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    Good for you, Warrior Mom! You took the first step in letting your daughter make the right decisions for herself today. It does feel good, doesn't it?
  14. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    That was FANTASTIC!!!!!!

    You will worry less and your daughter will respect you more.