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The Watercooler
I do more....No, I do more...and so it goes...
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<blockquote data-quote="trinityroyal" data-source="post: 207722" data-attributes="member: 3907"><p>Jo, first of all, sending a soothing cup of herbal tea, a cool compress for your forehead and a team of cleaning ladies to get your house sorted.</p><p></p><p>Now...on to the issue with H.</p><p>Your jobs are very different. His work is very physical etc. and he probably has the perception that an "office job" is cushy because you don't have to tote barges or lift bales. He doesn't recognize the amount of thinking, running around, problem solving etc. that goes into a typical day at the office.</p><p></p><p>Also, a lot of the house chores you do are invisible to him. You clean up his breakfast mess after he leaves the house. You tidy up other messes before he comes home. You prepare dinner etc. while he's sitting in the other room watching TV. So he never really sees the hard work you're putting in. It's not visible.</p><p></p><p>If he leaves a mess in the kitchen, and then it's cleaned up, he can gloss it over in his mind as "I didn't leave the kitchen all that messy. It's always clean when I come home from work."</p><p></p><p>If he perceives your job as "easy" and his as "hard", then that lets him feel aggrieved when you ask him to pitch in around the house.</p><p></p><p>One thought...you mention that you each keep your money separate. If you make him responsible for certain chores, can he afford to pay for them to be done? E.g. a housekeeper to come in once every 2 weeks? I know that the economy is in a mess and money is tight everywhere, but I'm just brainstorming a bit...</p><p></p><p>Sorry you're having to put up with this. </p><p></p><p>Trinity</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="trinityroyal, post: 207722, member: 3907"] Jo, first of all, sending a soothing cup of herbal tea, a cool compress for your forehead and a team of cleaning ladies to get your house sorted. Now...on to the issue with H. Your jobs are very different. His work is very physical etc. and he probably has the perception that an "office job" is cushy because you don't have to tote barges or lift bales. He doesn't recognize the amount of thinking, running around, problem solving etc. that goes into a typical day at the office. Also, a lot of the house chores you do are invisible to him. You clean up his breakfast mess after he leaves the house. You tidy up other messes before he comes home. You prepare dinner etc. while he's sitting in the other room watching TV. So he never really sees the hard work you're putting in. It's not visible. If he leaves a mess in the kitchen, and then it's cleaned up, he can gloss it over in his mind as "I didn't leave the kitchen all that messy. It's always clean when I come home from work." If he perceives your job as "easy" and his as "hard", then that lets him feel aggrieved when you ask him to pitch in around the house. One thought...you mention that you each keep your money separate. If you make him responsible for certain chores, can he afford to pay for them to be done? E.g. a housekeeper to come in once every 2 weeks? I know that the economy is in a mess and money is tight everywhere, but I'm just brainstorming a bit... Sorry you're having to put up with this. Trinity [/QUOTE]
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