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I don't even know what to TITLE this I'm so UPSET
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 639298" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>GM, you are just getting your feet wet, hon...lol. Many of us are used to this level of disrespect and it is very hard to shock us. I figured this girl was trouble, but you felt like you had to try to help and you needed to do it to see her true self. This compilation of seeing what some people are capable of doing to others day after day, year after year is what has brought many of us to where we are now...happy, peaceful, and refusing to deal with toxic people, users (of all types) an abusers. The absence of people who treat us like garbage is incredibly calming.</p><p></p><p>BUT...when I look back it took time for me to finally decide to take control of my life and not try to safe every sad soul. I mean, when I was in my 20's I worked in Downtown Chicago and I never had a lot of money because ex was very stingy. But on pay day, if I saw a beggar, I'd stuff a $10 bill or sometimes a $20 in their baskets or whatever they used. Little did I know, most beggars used the majority of money for drugs. Fast forward to today...I still give. I give warm blankets, sandwiches, and other goods, but I never give money. I have learned. I was a kid with a big heart like you. Heck, I adopted kids, sponsored several others, took in stray animals, and cried every time there was a sad story on the news.</p><p></p><p>I cared more about others than about myself. That sounds like I was selfless, but actually it was very bad for me. I let everyone punch me around, from all sides, and then would feel very hurt that my well meaning help was not appreciated. Today if I do anyone a favor, it is without expectations that I will get paid back. I do it strictly for the act of doing it, no strings attached.</p><p></p><p>GM, you are still young and still able to be shocked. If it keeps happening, you will stop being shocked and will decide what to do about those who just get by in life on the backs of others.</p><p></p><p>Now I know you are afraid of your daughter so please be safe. Telling you that something did not happen when you know it did happen is called gaslighting. It is most definitely a form of abuse and is intended to make you doubt your own memory of an event. Maybe it is best not to talk to your daughter about what happened as you know her response to it. It is hard for somebody to escalate anger when you don't throw oil on the fire. I learned this the hard way. The less I said, the faster the tornado from the other person died down and the faster it turned into just pouting. If your daughter gets abusive, why not take a drive, a walk, a trip to the library, a visit with a friend? Just make sure you are safe. maybe have somebody with you when you tell B that she has to leave.Keep your cell phone on your person, just in case.</p><p></p><p>Hugs and I'm sorry you went through this. Take it and learn just a little bit from this experience and YOU MEANT WELL. Don't feel bad because SHE took advantage of your good heart.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 639298, member: 1550"] GM, you are just getting your feet wet, hon...lol. Many of us are used to this level of disrespect and it is very hard to shock us. I figured this girl was trouble, but you felt like you had to try to help and you needed to do it to see her true self. This compilation of seeing what some people are capable of doing to others day after day, year after year is what has brought many of us to where we are now...happy, peaceful, and refusing to deal with toxic people, users (of all types) an abusers. The absence of people who treat us like garbage is incredibly calming. BUT...when I look back it took time for me to finally decide to take control of my life and not try to safe every sad soul. I mean, when I was in my 20's I worked in Downtown Chicago and I never had a lot of money because ex was very stingy. But on pay day, if I saw a beggar, I'd stuff a $10 bill or sometimes a $20 in their baskets or whatever they used. Little did I know, most beggars used the majority of money for drugs. Fast forward to today...I still give. I give warm blankets, sandwiches, and other goods, but I never give money. I have learned. I was a kid with a big heart like you. Heck, I adopted kids, sponsored several others, took in stray animals, and cried every time there was a sad story on the news. I cared more about others than about myself. That sounds like I was selfless, but actually it was very bad for me. I let everyone punch me around, from all sides, and then would feel very hurt that my well meaning help was not appreciated. Today if I do anyone a favor, it is without expectations that I will get paid back. I do it strictly for the act of doing it, no strings attached. GM, you are still young and still able to be shocked. If it keeps happening, you will stop being shocked and will decide what to do about those who just get by in life on the backs of others. Now I know you are afraid of your daughter so please be safe. Telling you that something did not happen when you know it did happen is called gaslighting. It is most definitely a form of abuse and is intended to make you doubt your own memory of an event. Maybe it is best not to talk to your daughter about what happened as you know her response to it. It is hard for somebody to escalate anger when you don't throw oil on the fire. I learned this the hard way. The less I said, the faster the tornado from the other person died down and the faster it turned into just pouting. If your daughter gets abusive, why not take a drive, a walk, a trip to the library, a visit with a friend? Just make sure you are safe. maybe have somebody with you when you tell B that she has to leave.Keep your cell phone on your person, just in case. Hugs and I'm sorry you went through this. Take it and learn just a little bit from this experience and YOU MEANT WELL. Don't feel bad because SHE took advantage of your good heart. [/QUOTE]
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