My relationship with my 20 year old daughter has been difficult since she was in her early teens. She has always been extremly close to her father. For reasons I am not sure of when she was around 12 she started competing with me for her fathers attention. He in many ways allowed it. When the three of us went anywhere together she was extremly disrespectful and just flat out mean to me. I tried many things to put an end to this, but nothing worked. Her father was not supportive of my efforts and many times sided with her. I continued going to her functions and events with her and her dad knowing I was not wanted. I actually thought that if I stuck it out and endured the painful treatment towards me they would evently see how badly I wanted to be there and stop being mean to me.. As time went on they both lost any respect for me they might have had and I lost all confidence in myself. I stopped going to the events and for the most part I stopped being her parent. I gave up on most things, isolating myself, falling into depression and often self medicating. I made alot of mistakes during that time and I was not a mother to her. Her father and I divorced and she stayed with him while I moved out of the family home. She was so angry with me following the divorce she would barely speak to me. I insisted we go to counceling. She saw that as a betrayel to her father and would not participate. Slowly her anger subsided and we began to see each other more often, but I was still not viewed as her mom. She never came to me for advice or shared with me the events of her life. I have never regained the confidence to take control and left it up to her to define my role in her life. Till this day I remain unsure of myself around her even fearful that I will do or say something to make her mad. This last year things between us were better than they have ever been. She would visit regularly and even brought her boyfriend to meet me. Then all of a sudden it stopped. I have not seen her in at least 6 months not even over the holidays. I often text her, tell her i miss her and ask if we can get together. Sometimes she replys but most times she does not. The other day i finally just flat out asked her why she wont come see me and if she was angry with me. She said she had to study for a test but after that she would talk to me. I promise she said. That was a week ago and shehas not responded to me at all. I know I failed her. I get that i should have been a mother to her and I am so very sorry. I would do anything to try and change things between us and begin to build some kind of relationship. At this point I dont know what to do. I dont know what she wants from me. Again I feel like I am a nuiesance to her and am intruding on her life. Then on the otherhand I feel like if I do not reach out to her I lose her all together. I am at a lose I do not have any idea what to do next. Is it too late? I pray that it is not. I have never talked to her about how I see and felt throughout all this and I really do not know how she sees the event of her childhood in regards to me. I am not even sure what started all her anger towards me. Please any advice. I am just at a loss, but I don't want to give up again.