I don't think I could ever go back. . .

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Kathy813, May 4, 2007.

  1. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I don't think I could ever go back to not having an empty nest.

    difficult child was here overnight to help me with a garage sale. She spent the night so she wouldn't have to get up early and drive over here. It was very nice of her to do but. . .

    She slept in easy child's room and of course didn't make the bed. She left her clothes lying all over the floor. After her shower, the towels were on the floor and make up spread all over the bathroom counter.

    She also left dishes on the family room coffee table and left the couch pillows thrown on the floor.

    With a sigh, I started cleaning up behind her. I told her that I enjoyed my empty "clean" nest. She started laughing and said that she would help me clean up.

    Which she did. She has come a long way and I appreciate that. I still like my empty nest, though.

    easy child will be home soon for two months. There it goes again.

  2. donna723

    donna723 Well-Known Member

    OMG, I know EXACTLY what you mean! Don't get me wrong, I LOVE it when my son visits. He works funny hours and lives two counties away from me and I don't get to see him nearly enough. He eats like a starving refugee when he's here and I like having somebody appreciative to cook for. And I fully plan on washing my living room curtains on Mothers Day - he's the only one tall enough and whose arms are long enough to re-hang the curtain rod behind the TV! I can't reach it, even standing on a chair. It once dangled there for two weeks until he could come over and re-hang it for me!

    BUT ... he would drive me absolutely nuts if he were here all the time! For one thing, the very first thing he does when he comes in the door is to reach for MY remote control and start changing channels! <u>MY</u> remote control! I have waited my entire adult life to have my very own remote, under MY control, and he grabs it! :mad: And he proceeds to put on one mindless movie after another instead of watching the good stuff that I usually watch! It must be some kind of genetic "male entitlement" thing! :cool: THEN, instead of watching the movies he puts on, he starts playing with the dogs, my two extremely hyper jet-propelled Bostons, and manages to whip them into a frenzy - give him five minutes and he's turned them into two little black and white blurs careening through the house on joyous panting, snorting fun-runs till they're bouncing off the walls and hyperventilating!

    And ever since he was a kid, he has reminded me so much of the "Pigpen" character in the "Peanuts" cartoons ... the untidy one who can raise a cloud of dust just walking through the room! He will sit in the recliner, watching his movies and making the dogs hysterical, and within an hour the end table next to the recliner is overflowing with HIS junk! And he never moved - all this stuff just somehow oozes from him - pretty soon there's an overflowing ash tray, two or three plates and silverware from stuff he's eaten, soft drink bottles, all the useless junk from his wallet and his pockets ... then he starts clipping his fingernails! I have no idea why he always does that when he comes here, but he does!

  3. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    <span style='font-size: 11pt'>I have been planning my empty nest for a while. June 1st should have us child free. easy child is not particularly neat and when they clean the kitchen after dinner.... well it leaves a bit to be desired. difficult child is a total disaster. I don't visit his apt. to keep my stress level under control.
    I have a ton of things I can do once most of my time is my own. It won't bother me at all to have an empty nest. </span>
  4. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Yes, Nomad, she has come a long way. Back in the dark days of teenage GFGdom, she would have screamed that I was Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and anal-retentive for wanting the house clean. And that would have been some of the nicer things that she said. :mad:

    So I do appreciate how far she has come. She is talking again about going back to college and studying psychology. She called me the other night while she was looking at the college course catalog and was excited because it turns out that she already has taken many of the core classes that she would need for a psychiatric degree. I told her that if she takes out a loan and does well for a semester that we would start paying her tuition again. She said that gave her a lot of incentive. Of course, we have heard all of this before but she said that she feels like she's at a dead end and just spinning her wheels. Gee, ya think??? I guess she is figuring out that she doesn't want to deliver pizza for the rest of her life.

    I plan to be very busy this summer. I am starting back to school for my post graduate degree ~ Education Specialist. I will be taking three classes in the month of June. Talk about a busy month! But they plan the coursework specifically for teachers so I'll still get the month of July off. After that, I will go to class every Monday evening for the school year and then take three classes again next June. That way I'll finish up in a year.

    Like Fran, I have many things I want to do now that I have an empty nest. I really don't understand those who feel lost and lonely when their children leave. Of course, maybe that's because my child rearing years haven't been exactly peaceful. :biggrin:

  5. hearthope

    hearthope New Member

    I just have a difficult child missing nest, I must say ~ my house looks better than it has in a while.

    It is ssoo nice to walk through the door and everything looks like it did before I left.

    I am lucky with my easy child, her room is upside down most of the time, yet she helps me keep the rest of the house nice and neat.

    I have lots of plans for empty nest time!!!
  6. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    Kathy, I must say that I completely understand. I love my empty nest. I love having my modest little home with my three fuzzbutts who only spread dog toys and hair tumbleweeds and not dirty clothes or dirty towels and don't talk back (well, not much anyway).

    I have my moments of being lonely but over all life is good and I am so grateful! :smile:

    Suz :princess:
  7. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful


    I want an empty nest, too!!!!

    I know I won't be sad once all of mine fly the coop! :rofl:

    T is driving me insane. If he doesn't find work soon I may have to strangle him. N tries to help me with the house, but it's not easy to keep up with when the males tend to trash it.

    I don't blame you for not wanting to give up your empty nest. I wouldnt' want to either. :flower:

  8. ScentofCedar

    ScentofCedar New Member

    I love it when the kids come home (except for difficult child when he is in the worst using/abusive mode), or when the grandchildren come (which they will be for the month this summer).

    I don't really like the mess or the extra cooking or expense? It just makes me so happy when they are there.

    I am such a dork, you guys. :smile:

    husband, on the other hand?

    Now THERE is an empty nester!

  9. ScentofCedar

    ScentofCedar New Member


    Congratulations on your soon-to-be status as an Education Specialist.

    Our daughter is going to be a teacher (yep ~ all is well there, guys!). She has begun student-teaching, and loves it.

    What will you do, as an Education Specialist?


  10. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member


    There are many different programs of study for an EdS degrees. Mine will be in the curriculum/teacher leadership field.

    I don't plan to leave the classroom although some use it to go into administration. I like teaching and plan to finish up in the classroom until the day until I retire.

    I do think that I may use some of the topics here on the board for my thesis project. I'm thinking of doing research and writing a paper on inclusion classes and/or integrating Special Education students in to a mainstream class. I may do it from the perspective of the regular ed teacher's point of view. For example, what special training do reg ed teachers get to prepare them for team teaching and what preparation they receive (or in most cases do not receive) for dealing with various disorders.

    I may even use the board for research (with runaway bunny's permission of course).

  11. KFld

    KFld New Member

    I ran into someone in the grocery store yesterday who was telling me how her son will be home from college next week for the summer and she is not looking forward to it. I thought, thank god mine won't be home!!! Then she asked me about my easy child daughter and her plans for college and I told her she is going to college, but wants to live home and I have absoluteley no problem with that at all. She kind of made a face like she felt sorry for me and said maybe she would change her mind and go away. She obviously doesn't have a difficult child who left home so she doesn't realize the peace and quiet of just living with a easy child and not caring if they ever leave home.

    I have 1/2 an empty nest and that is good enough for me. I guess that is the difference between difficult child and easy child empty nest. I have a difficult child empty nest. Does that make sense????

    I find myself walking around the house cleaning up after difficult child when he even visits for an hour. I never have to do that for easy child.
  12. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Absolutely not one single soul acknowledges or understands how
    totally discombobulating it is to be a working senior citizen who
    comes how to daily disorder. I'm having a hard time not yelling
    at my husband (something I have only done twice in thirty years by the way)
    because he won't change shoes before tracking in work dirt etc.
    My carpeted house looks like one of those on spouse swap where
    you just CRINGE and think "OMG how could ANYONE live like that?"

    I try to thank God that everyone is making babysteps forward in
    the truly important areas. on the other hand, I am SO sick of disarray, SO
    sick of having to look for the remote that goes with the TV in MY
    room, whine, whine, whine.

    I WANT an empty nest! DDD
  13. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    Karen, honestly, your easy child sounds like such a doll. Can I borrow her just to know what it would be like to parent a easy child?

  14. DazedandConfused

    DazedandConfused Active Member


    I read your post with a longing ache that will not be satisfied until my difficult child are the heck gone!

    I'm, too, tired of constant mess. Working all day, coming home exhuasted, and finding messes and disarray everywhere.

    When I should be trying to recharge my batteries on the weekends, I'm trying to find ways to keep the difficult children busy and do some laundry and clean up a bit. It's been windy here and everything is dulled by a thick layer of dust.

    Being able to come home and find everything where I left them? Indeed, that would be paradise. :smile:
  15. KFld

    KFld New Member

    You could borrow her for a very very short time, as long as I get her back :smile: I usually share very nicely, but I don't know how long I could stand to share her for :smile:

    I could share difficult child with you for quite a while if you would like :surprise:
  16. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I could share difficult child with you for quite a while if you would like </div></div>

    Nice try! :nonono: :rofl:

  17. ScentofCedar

    ScentofCedar New Member