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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 672472" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>Hi Lwann, Sorry it took awhile to get back to you, work, life and some tough stuff came along, but a bit better now. Welcome to CD, a little haven of help and hope where you can safely vent. So sorry for your reasons to be here. It is a tough road we are all on.</p><p> I felt the same way, landing here. I mean I knew there were others out there, no one at my workplace, or clay class, etc., etc. It got to a point where a cup of coffee and my latest tragic d c addictive behavior story was a bit odd mixed in with others tales of "I took my child college viewing" and so on.</p><p>It is a good place for us to come and share and get good solid advice.</p><p>You may want to add a signature, just a little description of yourself and family, so folks can better understand your background and situation. If you go to your profile page, it is under the information tab.</p><p></p><p> Is your son still in college? I know lots of kids use that as an excuse to party, and party hard. I hope the car and insurance is not under you folks, that could be trouble for you. The drinking and drugging are a scary thought, most kids wont think twice about driving under the influence. The diabetes is scary, too, if he is hypoglycemic, driving is dangerous.</p><p>You write that you have let things slide with him when he comes home. I am glad for you and your son, that you are</p><p>wanting to change this. Good for you Lwann.</p><p>Drug addicted d cs can be very manipulative, they know just how to keep us enabling, it becomes a cycle.</p><p> I think addicts get to the point where the drugs start doing all the talking.</p><p>Trust in your self, your gut, the things you have seen, heard, smelt, listen to your head and not your heart. </p><p></p><p>YOU draw the picture, do not let him draw it for you.</p><p></p><p> When he loses that support system he will have to learn to fend for himself. That is a good thing Lwann, because we as parents, will not be around forever to rescue our d cs and pick up the pieces for them.</p><p>They have simply got to learn to be self sufficient.</p><p></p><p>So true. </p><p> He is not caring for his diabetes now, Lwann. We have all learned here, that our adult d cs <em>do not grow</em> in our homes. They are too, too comfortable and unwilling to test their wings in our homes. It will be worse for you and your son, if you hang on, and on.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>The following is a great article, I reference it often:</p><p></p><p>Article on detachment <a href="http://www.conductdisorders.com/community/threads/article-on-detachment.53639/" target="_blank">http://www.conductdisorders.com/community/threads/article-on-detachment.53639/</a></p><p></p><p> I do not like the term kicked out. It does not bespeak of where the true responsibility lies, <em>with our d cs.</em> My two had spiraled into despicable behaviors. I should have never allowed them to carry on as such in my home. I had my mother-blinders on. I thought that I would be able to help them. They didnt want help Lwann, they just wanted to party, and it often came at <em>our </em>expense.</p><p></p><p>Yo are not alone in your struggles with your son. There are many of us here as you have seen, at different degrees on this path. It really helps to communicate and vent and see how others are faring, what works, what hasn't. It is a good place to be.</p><p></p><p>I pray for your relief, and peace of mind Lwann.</p><p>(((HUGS)))</p><p>leafy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 672472, member: 19522"] Hi Lwann, Sorry it took awhile to get back to you, work, life and some tough stuff came along, but a bit better now. Welcome to CD, a little haven of help and hope where you can safely vent. So sorry for your reasons to be here. It is a tough road we are all on. I felt the same way, landing here. I mean I knew there were others out there, no one at my workplace, or clay class, etc., etc. It got to a point where a cup of coffee and my latest tragic d c addictive behavior story was a bit odd mixed in with others tales of "I took my child college viewing" and so on. It is a good place for us to come and share and get good solid advice. You may want to add a signature, just a little description of yourself and family, so folks can better understand your background and situation. If you go to your profile page, it is under the information tab. Is your son still in college? I know lots of kids use that as an excuse to party, and party hard. I hope the car and insurance is not under you folks, that could be trouble for you. The drinking and drugging are a scary thought, most kids wont think twice about driving under the influence. The diabetes is scary, too, if he is hypoglycemic, driving is dangerous. You write that you have let things slide with him when he comes home. I am glad for you and your son, that you are wanting to change this. Good for you Lwann. Drug addicted d cs can be very manipulative, they know just how to keep us enabling, it becomes a cycle. I think addicts get to the point where the drugs start doing all the talking. Trust in your self, your gut, the things you have seen, heard, smelt, listen to your head and not your heart. YOU draw the picture, do not let him draw it for you. When he loses that support system he will have to learn to fend for himself. That is a good thing Lwann, because we as parents, will not be around forever to rescue our d cs and pick up the pieces for them. They have simply got to learn to be self sufficient. So true. He is not caring for his diabetes now, Lwann. We have all learned here, that our adult d cs [I]do not grow[/I] in our homes. They are too, too comfortable and unwilling to test their wings in our homes. It will be worse for you and your son, if you hang on, and on. The following is a great article, I reference it often: Article on detachment [URL]http://www.conductdisorders.com/community/threads/article-on-detachment.53639/[/URL] I do not like the term kicked out. It does not bespeak of where the true responsibility lies, [I]with our d cs.[/I] My two had spiraled into despicable behaviors. I should have never allowed them to carry on as such in my home. I had my mother-blinders on. I thought that I would be able to help them. They didnt want help Lwann, they just wanted to party, and it often came at [I]our [/I]expense. Yo are not alone in your struggles with your son. There are many of us here as you have seen, at different degrees on this path. It really helps to communicate and vent and see how others are faring, what works, what hasn't. It is a good place to be. I pray for your relief, and peace of mind Lwann. (((HUGS))) leafy [/QUOTE]
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