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I don't want to do this anymore
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<blockquote data-quote="TerryJ2" data-source="post: 219700" data-attributes="member: 3419"><p>I know what you mean about this board. It's a lifesaver!!! <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p><p> </p><p>Heather, I hope things are going better this evening.</p><p> </p><p>For the "You never told me" argument, I have now gone to paper and pen for everything. I tape the notes to the computer monitor or the microwave (places I'm sure difficult child will look). Then, I can just point to the note. I have found that he really hates my voice, especially when he's escalating. Also, if the note is missing or something, and he argues that I never told him that the dishwasher needed emptying, for example, I'll calmly say, "Nevertheless, it still needs emptying. Do it now." And then I walk away so he won't engage me.</p><p> </p><p>Another thing I try to do it to catch him doing something good, especially when we're out, and especially in front of his peers. If the topic of laundry comes up, and some kid makes a crack about how he doesn't do that, I'll say, "difficult child does it all the time and he's very good at it. It's one of his chores."</p><p>The other parents love that, too, because it creates parental expectations en masse. Sometimes it does take a village. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p><p>I don't know how much she gets out, with-her anxiety, but you could try reinforcement for that.</p><p> </p><p>As far as not telling her about taking the cat to the vet ... I've only had difficult child go off on me once or twice, and he thought HE was the one responsible for going to the vet. I let him vent, and then calmly said, "How does it affect you, playing on the computer, when I'm at the vet?" The lightbulb will go off and he will calm down. But she's way beyond that. I wish I had some good ideas for you.</p><p> </p><p>I'm wondering about Wynter's medications and her anxiety level ... have they been tweaked lately? </p><p> </p><p>No Mind Left Behind sounds interesting. I hear you about not wanting to read another book that has to do with-our g'sfg!!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TerryJ2, post: 219700, member: 3419"] I know what you mean about this board. It's a lifesaver!!! :) Heather, I hope things are going better this evening. For the "You never told me" argument, I have now gone to paper and pen for everything. I tape the notes to the computer monitor or the microwave (places I'm sure difficult child will look). Then, I can just point to the note. I have found that he really hates my voice, especially when he's escalating. Also, if the note is missing or something, and he argues that I never told him that the dishwasher needed emptying, for example, I'll calmly say, "Nevertheless, it still needs emptying. Do it now." And then I walk away so he won't engage me. Another thing I try to do it to catch him doing something good, especially when we're out, and especially in front of his peers. If the topic of laundry comes up, and some kid makes a crack about how he doesn't do that, I'll say, "difficult child does it all the time and he's very good at it. It's one of his chores." The other parents love that, too, because it creates parental expectations en masse. Sometimes it does take a village. :) I don't know how much she gets out, with-her anxiety, but you could try reinforcement for that. As far as not telling her about taking the cat to the vet ... I've only had difficult child go off on me once or twice, and he thought HE was the one responsible for going to the vet. I let him vent, and then calmly said, "How does it affect you, playing on the computer, when I'm at the vet?" The lightbulb will go off and he will calm down. But she's way beyond that. I wish I had some good ideas for you. I'm wondering about Wynter's medications and her anxiety level ... have they been tweaked lately? No Mind Left Behind sounds interesting. I hear you about not wanting to read another book that has to do with-our g'sfg!! [/QUOTE]
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