That's all that runs through my head. All day long. I suppose I should be thankful that my daughter is not violent. She's not out running the streets, she's not doing drugs, she's not sexually active. But everything revolves around her. She wants to 'work on things', but for her that means expecting everyone else to change to accommodate her. She argues absolutely everything. She flat out refuses to do what she's supposed to do then gets upset and expects someone to fix it for her. I live in a battle zone with her every day and the rules change daily. And I'm tired. I'm tried of advocating for a child that refuses to help herself. I'm tired of trying to find resources and services just so she will refuse to participate and become angry and hostile. We've been at this for years and beyond the age of 7 she has not actively participated in any therapy, medication, interventions, nothing. And I just don't want to do it anymore. She's so negative and so hateful and pure venom comes out of her mouth. Why would I want to help someone who is verbally beating me up almost daily. Yes, she has anxiety and yes, she has depression although it tends to be situational. But, if she refuses to help herself then it is no excuse for her behavior. I'm sick of blaming it on these disorders like it's some kind of excuse. We live in the real world and in the real world you have to learn to function in society and overcome your challenges. The world is not going to do it for you. You can't treat people like dirt over and over and then expect them to be forgiving every time. I'm ready to let her fail at school. When that happens she will be forced to return to regular school. But, that's not going to change anything. It's just going to shift the focus of the battle. It will be an epic battle every morning and an epic battle every evening. So, no matter what it's still a war. I don't even want to look at her anymore. Today it was a huge fight because I didn't tell her until an hour before the appointment, that I had a vet appointment for the cat. It didn't matter. She wasn't going. It didn't involve her in any way. But, I didn't tell her and she's screaming at me. Who does she think she is?