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I feel left out because of difficult child#3
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<blockquote data-quote="nlg319" data-source="post: 68257" data-attributes="member: 3637"><p>I am so mad. I took difficult child#3 to the beach along with 2 of my friends. We met there, my 2 friends drove together in one van. My long time friend, C, is a foster parent and has 9 kids all together. 2 of them were at the beach with us...D is 8 and G is 3. My difficult child#3 gets along and plays great with both of them. My fairly new friend, J has 2 boys, Z and N, Z is 7 and N is 5, difficult child#3's age. N and difficult child#3 have issues everytime we get together. G is the only girl in the bunch. The boys played in the water, ran, looked for sea creatures and basically had a great time, except for N. He is very serious. He's the kind of kid who sits with the adults instead of playing with the other kids. So....my friend J spent most of the time telling N to go play with the kids and leave the adults alone to talk. If I yelled down to difficult child#3 not to go out too far, N would run down to the shore to yell at difficult child#3. I kept telling him that I could handle it. I even went as far to ask him not to repeat what I say to difficult child#3 as it gets difficult child#3 upset. N is playing the role of parent, and he does this to all of them. But...for my difficult child#3, he reacts. Now difficult child#3 is very physical, loves to wrestle, roughhouse etc. difficult child#3 and D play fight all the time and D knows that they are playing. So, D and difficult child#3 are play wrestling and N steps in to defend D and pushes difficult child#3 down. difficult child#3 WILL NOT be pushed around so he pushes him back and the fight begins. Both J and I talked to our boys about being nice, not pushing etc. But I continue to watch them. I know N is saying things that we cannot hear to provoke difficult child#3. So, difficult child#3 reacts by hitting or pushing and it looks like difficult child#3 is the problem. This lasted about 30 minutes. We decided we would head off the beach and go back to C's house for pizza. I could see that difficult child#3 had enough stimulation and decided against going back Occupational Therapist (OT) the house for pizza. Then J decides the same thing because her boys seemed to be overstimulated. So, we all walk back to our cars and C,J and all their kids fill the van. G was having a meltdown and wouldn't get in the van. All of a sudden, I hear J say to G, " Come on G, shhh, we're going back to J's house to swim and have pizza." G immediatley gets up and gets in the van. </p><p></p><p>They planned to go back to J's house but they must have planned it after I started walking back to the car. difficult child#3 and I were ready first so we started ahead of them and J and C tagged along.</p><p></p><p>I feel so left out and mad that they didn't invite us, and I know it is because of difficult child 3's behavior, when really N is the little brat! I wouldn't have even gone but it is the whole idea that they kept it secret and even told G to "sshh".</p><p></p><p>I hate this feeling!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="nlg319, post: 68257, member: 3637"] I am so mad. I took difficult child#3 to the beach along with 2 of my friends. We met there, my 2 friends drove together in one van. My long time friend, C, is a foster parent and has 9 kids all together. 2 of them were at the beach with us...D is 8 and G is 3. My difficult child#3 gets along and plays great with both of them. My fairly new friend, J has 2 boys, Z and N, Z is 7 and N is 5, difficult child#3's age. N and difficult child#3 have issues everytime we get together. G is the only girl in the bunch. The boys played in the water, ran, looked for sea creatures and basically had a great time, except for N. He is very serious. He's the kind of kid who sits with the adults instead of playing with the other kids. So....my friend J spent most of the time telling N to go play with the kids and leave the adults alone to talk. If I yelled down to difficult child#3 not to go out too far, N would run down to the shore to yell at difficult child#3. I kept telling him that I could handle it. I even went as far to ask him not to repeat what I say to difficult child#3 as it gets difficult child#3 upset. N is playing the role of parent, and he does this to all of them. But...for my difficult child#3, he reacts. Now difficult child#3 is very physical, loves to wrestle, roughhouse etc. difficult child#3 and D play fight all the time and D knows that they are playing. So, D and difficult child#3 are play wrestling and N steps in to defend D and pushes difficult child#3 down. difficult child#3 WILL NOT be pushed around so he pushes him back and the fight begins. Both J and I talked to our boys about being nice, not pushing etc. But I continue to watch them. I know N is saying things that we cannot hear to provoke difficult child#3. So, difficult child#3 reacts by hitting or pushing and it looks like difficult child#3 is the problem. This lasted about 30 minutes. We decided we would head off the beach and go back to C's house for pizza. I could see that difficult child#3 had enough stimulation and decided against going back Occupational Therapist (OT) the house for pizza. Then J decides the same thing because her boys seemed to be overstimulated. So, we all walk back to our cars and C,J and all their kids fill the van. G was having a meltdown and wouldn't get in the van. All of a sudden, I hear J say to G, " Come on G, shhh, we're going back to J's house to swim and have pizza." G immediatley gets up and gets in the van. They planned to go back to J's house but they must have planned it after I started walking back to the car. difficult child#3 and I were ready first so we started ahead of them and J and C tagged along. I feel so left out and mad that they didn't invite us, and I know it is because of difficult child 3's behavior, when really N is the little brat! I wouldn't have even gone but it is the whole idea that they kept it secret and even told G to "sshh". I hate this feeling! [/QUOTE]
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