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I feel like a mean mum... But
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 280700" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>I don't think you've blown it. Or if it turns out you have - then anything would have blown it, he's just usaing you as an excuse and probably would have manufactured a rift to use it as an excuse.</p><p></p><p>It's what they do, when the drugs become more important than anything/anyone else.</p><p></p><p>You did the right thing to remind him of what his priorities shouldbe, as well as pointing out that earning a living and paying your way is the main priority. </p><p></p><p>If he can't understand the urgency of repairing the fence to keep the cattle in, then he is unlikely to see the 'sense' in holding down a job to earn a wage. Not when selling drugs can net him a larger amount with minimal effort.</p><p></p><p>Sorry you're crook. At least with my bug, I've not been throwing up as well. The cough is almost that bad, though.</p><p></p><p>Thing is - when you're ill, they have to forgive you more. You can always fall back on, "But I was sick, you can't take it to heary," if they get on their high horse about it. People do this (I don't like it) and when a parent of a difficult child has to use this sort of emotional blackmail, I think it's generally justified. We have to use every trick in the book and then some.</p><p></p><p>I had a co-worker who used to use the same sort of emotional blackmail. "I'm really unwell, I shouldn't be here, so I would appreciate it if you got on with thwe job and didn't argue back the way you always do."</p><p>I wanted to say, "But I don't argue back - what are you talking about?" and immediately realised that simply by opening my mouth, I would be leaving myself wide open to an accusation of arguing back.</p><p>The bloke wasclever. But very unfair.</p><p></p><p>However - if we have to do this with our difficult children, especially when they're being a headache - go for it.</p><p></p><p>As for wanting to go to the library on a public holiday - dead givewaway!</p><p></p><p>Next time he wants to go to the library, offer to go online to check the books out for him. He can browse catalogues online, make a selection and you can collect them for him next time you're in town.</p><p></p><p>However, having been caught out, I would think purgatory would be getting very chilly before I let him out of my sight in the big smoke...</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 280700, member: 1991"] I don't think you've blown it. Or if it turns out you have - then anything would have blown it, he's just usaing you as an excuse and probably would have manufactured a rift to use it as an excuse. It's what they do, when the drugs become more important than anything/anyone else. You did the right thing to remind him of what his priorities shouldbe, as well as pointing out that earning a living and paying your way is the main priority. If he can't understand the urgency of repairing the fence to keep the cattle in, then he is unlikely to see the 'sense' in holding down a job to earn a wage. Not when selling drugs can net him a larger amount with minimal effort. Sorry you're crook. At least with my bug, I've not been throwing up as well. The cough is almost that bad, though. Thing is - when you're ill, they have to forgive you more. You can always fall back on, "But I was sick, you can't take it to heary," if they get on their high horse about it. People do this (I don't like it) and when a parent of a difficult child has to use this sort of emotional blackmail, I think it's generally justified. We have to use every trick in the book and then some. I had a co-worker who used to use the same sort of emotional blackmail. "I'm really unwell, I shouldn't be here, so I would appreciate it if you got on with thwe job and didn't argue back the way you always do." I wanted to say, "But I don't argue back - what are you talking about?" and immediately realised that simply by opening my mouth, I would be leaving myself wide open to an accusation of arguing back. The bloke wasclever. But very unfair. However - if we have to do this with our difficult children, especially when they're being a headache - go for it. As for wanting to go to the library on a public holiday - dead givewaway! Next time he wants to go to the library, offer to go online to check the books out for him. He can browse catalogues online, make a selection and you can collect them for him next time you're in town. However, having been caught out, I would think purgatory would be getting very chilly before I let him out of my sight in the big smoke... Marg [/QUOTE]
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