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I feel like there’s no way out.
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<blockquote data-quote="BloodiedButUnbowed" data-source="post: 750945" data-attributes="member: 13303"><p>I can also add my own family's story. The scenario is very different in some ways but in case there might be an elemental truth that may prove helpful, I will offer it here.</p><p></p><p>My oldest stepson was deeply troubled from a very young age. He is also academically and intellectually talented, and these masked some of his issues (but not all) until he reached HS age, when he could no longer camouflage them. </p><p></p><p>We got him as much help as could be agreed upon by his parents, who had a very high conflict divorce and to this day, cannot co-parent effectively because of the rancor between them. He was in therapy weekly, he was on psychiatric medications until he decided not to be compliant in his early teens, he was hospitalized inpatient and partial. </p><p></p><p>None of it helped. He went further and further off the rails. He grew strong and tall and began to use violence and intimidation with his family to get his way. He developed a drug issue on top of all of his other problems. He dropped out of school and couldn't keep a job, and stayed in his room when he wasn't selling drugs. This all happened in the home of his custodial parent - not us.</p><p></p><p>He is now a legal adult and finally just beginning to shape up - only because he faces jail time if he doesn't.</p><p></p><p>Looking back, should my stepson have been sent to a military school or something similar the instant he indicated that he couldn't and wouldn't accept authority? Probably so. Doesn't help us now, but I hope our story might help you feel less alone and also more certain that when the right option opens up, that it's worth taking. My stepson has done SO much damage not only to himself but to all of us - our trust in him, our relationship with him. And of course, his own life. He's still young but way behind where he should be.</p><p></p><p>Don't hesitate to take the steps that are necessary. I wish we had done so.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BloodiedButUnbowed, post: 750945, member: 13303"] I can also add my own family's story. The scenario is very different in some ways but in case there might be an elemental truth that may prove helpful, I will offer it here. My oldest stepson was deeply troubled from a very young age. He is also academically and intellectually talented, and these masked some of his issues (but not all) until he reached HS age, when he could no longer camouflage them. We got him as much help as could be agreed upon by his parents, who had a very high conflict divorce and to this day, cannot co-parent effectively because of the rancor between them. He was in therapy weekly, he was on psychiatric medications until he decided not to be compliant in his early teens, he was hospitalized inpatient and partial. None of it helped. He went further and further off the rails. He grew strong and tall and began to use violence and intimidation with his family to get his way. He developed a drug issue on top of all of his other problems. He dropped out of school and couldn't keep a job, and stayed in his room when he wasn't selling drugs. This all happened in the home of his custodial parent - not us. He is now a legal adult and finally just beginning to shape up - only because he faces jail time if he doesn't. Looking back, should my stepson have been sent to a military school or something similar the instant he indicated that he couldn't and wouldn't accept authority? Probably so. Doesn't help us now, but I hope our story might help you feel less alone and also more certain that when the right option opens up, that it's worth taking. My stepson has done SO much damage not only to himself but to all of us - our trust in him, our relationship with him. And of course, his own life. He's still young but way behind where he should be. Don't hesitate to take the steps that are necessary. I wish we had done so. [/QUOTE]
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