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I feel selfish...
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<blockquote data-quote="change" data-source="post: 177683" data-attributes="member: 4808"><p>Thank you for the gentle hugs. I feel like bawling. I won't though because my daughter is home. Her performance was so nice. She'll do it again tomorrow and my tia (aunt) from Mexico is spending the night tonight and tomorrow night so will go with me to see her. That will be nice. </p><p> </p><p>Yes, I'm grieving my son. I'm SO MAD at him still but yet feel sorry for him too and also miss him at times even though I don't miss the extreme tension we lived with when he was in our home. I feel like I lost a child and wasn't able to mourn him properly. Does that make sense? It's bad. </p><p> </p><p>I was happy to see my daughter having a normal day today from afar at the academy. I could see her hanging out with the other girls her age and someone was putting performance make-up on her from one of the upper levels, and after the show, she took her time getting to me and then told me she was exchanging phone numbers with some of the girls in her level who were from other schools that were just there for the summer. I was glad. She needs some "normal" stuff in her life. The academy itself is so intense and sometimes I wonder if she should stay involved. The students are nice though and have been a constant in her life. Sometimes, when we go to the grocery next door, it's so cool when professionals (company members) say hello to her by name as well. What a cool thing in life that I never experienced! </p><p> </p><p>You're right about making time at least once a week with my husband. We were doing that a long time ago and then things got so intense with our son and we stopped. We should really do it again. I think we have been so busy trying to save our daughter lately that we don't spend time on our relationship like we should. We have date night at home sometimes but she's actually in the house...(in bed early or something like that). We really need to actually get out alone and leave her with grandparents or something and make a pact not to talk about our legal issues or kids stuff when we're out.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="change, post: 177683, member: 4808"] Thank you for the gentle hugs. I feel like bawling. I won't though because my daughter is home. Her performance was so nice. She'll do it again tomorrow and my tia (aunt) from Mexico is spending the night tonight and tomorrow night so will go with me to see her. That will be nice. Yes, I'm grieving my son. I'm SO MAD at him still but yet feel sorry for him too and also miss him at times even though I don't miss the extreme tension we lived with when he was in our home. I feel like I lost a child and wasn't able to mourn him properly. Does that make sense? It's bad. I was happy to see my daughter having a normal day today from afar at the academy. I could see her hanging out with the other girls her age and someone was putting performance make-up on her from one of the upper levels, and after the show, she took her time getting to me and then told me she was exchanging phone numbers with some of the girls in her level who were from other schools that were just there for the summer. I was glad. She needs some "normal" stuff in her life. The academy itself is so intense and sometimes I wonder if she should stay involved. The students are nice though and have been a constant in her life. Sometimes, when we go to the grocery next door, it's so cool when professionals (company members) say hello to her by name as well. What a cool thing in life that I never experienced! You're right about making time at least once a week with my husband. We were doing that a long time ago and then things got so intense with our son and we stopped. We should really do it again. I think we have been so busy trying to save our daughter lately that we don't spend time on our relationship like we should. We have date night at home sometimes but she's actually in the house...(in bed early or something like that). We really need to actually get out alone and leave her with grandparents or something and make a pact not to talk about our legal issues or kids stuff when we're out. [/QUOTE]
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