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i feel very unappreciated
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 391406" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>i feel very unappreciated </p><p style="margin-left: 20px">by my family.</p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px">yup it's been a rough rough past few mos. with-o a doubt. and yes i'm stressed, tired, emotional, swollen and reaching my pt. of no return i guess you could say. </p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px">funny thing is i say that alot <span style="color: red"><strong><u>IF YOU ARE HAVING TO REPEAT THIS MORE THAN ONCE? NO ONE IS LISTENING. PERHAPS YOU NEED TO SIT THEM DOWN, GET THEIR ATTENTION AND MAKE THEM UNDERSTAND YOU'RE NOT GOING TO KEEP SAYING THIS MUCH LONGER</u></strong></span>. as of late yet always return back to me. i dont' know anymore if that'sa good or bad thing. UM.....<span style="color: red"><strong><u>BAD, BAD, BAD. THE MORE UNAPPRECIATED YOU ARE THE CRANKIER YOU GET, THE CRANKIER YOU GET, THE WHINIER YOU GET, THE WHINIER YOU GET, THE LESS PEOPLE ARE TAKING YOU SERIOUSLY, AND THEN THE MORE FRUSTRATED YOU GET. KAPISH?</u></strong></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="color: red"><strong><u></u></strong></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="color: red"><strong><u></u></strong></span>yet i have verbalized to husband and my family how unappreciated i feel as of late. bigtime. <span style="color: red"><strong>(LALALALALAH NOT LISTENING TO YOU.....LOOK UP <u><span style="color: royalblue">EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION</span></u> ON GOOGLE) </strong></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="color: red"><strong></strong></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="color: red"></span>today was supposed to be special, an afternoon with husband and i and no kids no difficult child. the day began late bc as usual difficult child was up till 2 a.m. yet again harrassing me, screaming my name i can't sleep etc. driving me insane. <span style="color: red">(NOT SOMETHING THAT CAN BE HELPED NECESSARILY</span>) husband and i stayed up past her torment to watch an episode of hells kitchen we'd been dying to see.(<span style="color: red">DVR IT, AND GET TO BED SO YOU CAN ENJOY YOUR TOMORROW? NOPE YOU CHOSE TO STAY UP AND NOW EVERYONE IS CRANKY BUT YOU ARE TRYING TO RATIONALIZE THIS AND BLAME difficult child TCH TCH TCH) </span> so yea we're pushing the hours bad just to get time together.</p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px">and this morning it happens. i fight to get husband and difficult child up. their both cranky. husband runs to get dog food and coffee. i work on difficult child. </p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px">long story short i wanted to go riding really badly<span style="color: red">.(PUTS OUT HANDS LIKE SCALES - JUST LAST NIGHT YOU WANTED TO SPEND QUALITY TIME WITH husband WHICH IS IT HERE?)</span> yet i'm just so swollen so as of yesterday i said it's a no go<span style="color: red">.(THIS WAS A GOOD CHOICE FOR YOURSELF YOU ARE TIRED AND STAYED UP LATE, AND SWOLLEN</span>) than woke up today and said screw it<span style="color: red">.(OH NO, BAD CHOICE FOR YOU</span>) i wanna go. husband doesn't deal well just like difficult child with change of plans<span style="color: red">.(i SOOOOO GET THAT - DIDN'T HE THINK YOU WERE SPENDING ALONE TIME WITH HIM TODAY?)</span> thank god i dont' have that issue! long story short he says your annoying that your changing plans last min. i'm in this too ya know. <span style="color: red">(GOTTA GIVE HIM THIS ONE JE' - SORRY BUT) </span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="color: red"></span>well tha'Tourette's Syndrome all i had to hear ****** i was bigtime. got in truck and had a huge argument i broke down and cried <span style="color: red">(AGAIN - THIS IS SOMETHING WHO CAUSED BY CHANGING PLANS? HE'S NOT GOING TO BE SYMPATHETIC, BUT I REALLY DO GET THE i NEED TO RUN AWAY FROM THE MADNESS THING AT THIS POINT AND I WOULDA TRADED THIS NUTSY ENVIRONMENT FOR THE SMELL OF HORSE APPLES TOO - NO REALLY I WOULD HAVE)</span> and told him bring me home. <span style="color: red">(I WOULD HAVE TOLD HIM TO TAKE ME TO THE BUS STATION)</span> which he did. and went to work<span style="color: red"><strong><u>.(OKAY now I'M REALLY CONFUSED WEREN'T THE TWO OF YOU SUPPOSED TO SPEND QUALITY TIME ALONE TOGETHER TODAY WITHOUT THE KIDS/ AND YOU ARE TROTTIN' OFF TO BE WITH THE HORSES AND HE'S GOING TO WORK?) AND YOU'RE NEWLEY WEDS? HMMMM</u></strong></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="color: red"><strong><u></u></strong></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px">easy child is nasty and difficult appreciates nothing. <span style="color: red">(well......how appreciated do you think she feels in this house? She's a easy child, she lives with a difficult child, her Mom and Dad are arguing a lot, her Mom is falling apart - so who is she modeling her behavior after? I say this because until I realized how much I was falling apart in MY home - I didn't realize Dude was doing the same thing. And she's a teenager - BLECH... and if she IS watching you unload groceries? I mean TELL HER TO GET UP AND GET HER KIESTER OUT SIDE AND GET A BAG or she can forget eating! I mean it - that's the rule in the house - you wanna eat? You don't buy it? You're butt better be outside helping bring it in, and putting it away!)</span> watched me unload an entire truck full of groceries today and laid in her bed and watched me even as i asked <span style="color: red">(ASKED MY AUNT ASCOTT - GET UP OFF YOUR REAR END RIGHT NOW AND UNLOAD THIS NOW)</span> please <span style="color: red">(STOP SAYING PLEASE</span>) help me. she's been grounded <span style="color: red">(just because she's grounded doesn't mean the world and the house and the life in that house stops nor does chores - she is SO going to get MORE grounding if she doesn't start pitching in)</span> so she does nothing for no one and is a big witch.<span style="color: magenta">(being a witch? Her perogative - being it on her own time - YOUR perrogative) </span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="color: magenta"></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="color: magenta"></span>difficult child appreciates zero. i run all day for her<span style="color: red">,(WELL THEN STOP IT, and see if her butt gets any thinner and you have more time for yourself...DELEGATE)</span> work my butt off even when i'm in pain for whatever she wants <span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: red">(READ THIS RIDICULOUS STATEMENT TO YOURSELF OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER) ---go ahead READ IT - and pretend I'm telling you THIS IS ME AND DUDE.....</span></span> and at night she tortures me <span style="color: darkorange"><strong>(yeah this would stop or she'd be taken to the psychiatrist or ER and I would say she's a danger to herself or others and left - you wanna keep screwing with me? Fine - HERE's WHAT happens to YOU when YOU do this to me - we get in the car and we take you to the ER and people examine you over and over for your mental health at 2:00 AM and eventually with 10 or so trips in a month SOMEONE from MENTAL health will have you committed to the psychiatric ward or state hospital and you will STAY and I will get some sleep. )</strong></span> even when i say hey i don't feel well <span style="color: red"><strong><u>(STOP SAYING THIS THEY DON'T CARE and actually THIS IS WHAT THEY WANT TO HEAR YOU SAY BECAUSE THEN IT MEANS I WIN JUST SHUT UP, PUT YOUR SLIPPERS ON, GRAB YOUR KEYS, PUT HER IN THE CAR AND TAKE HER TO THE ER)</u></strong></span> please <span style="font-size: 18px">(STOP SAYING PLEASE)</span> stop screaming you took the medications just do your breathing.</p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px">husband well you can imagine how disappointed i am in him. <span style="color: sandybrown">THEN COMMUNICATE THIS TO HIM- DO NOT KEEP IT INSIDE - HOW IS HE GOING TO KNOW WHAT TO DO TO CHANGE IF YOU DO NOT TELL HIM???</span> i was so very sad to be spending my free day <span style="color: red">(THIS WAS YOUR DAY...WHY WOULD HE EVEN CONSIDER ASKING YOU TO DO THIS WITHOUT THE PROMISE OF ANOTHER FREE DAY FOR YOURSELF? BALONEY THIS IS SELFISH UNLESS YOU BOTH OWN THIS BUSINESS AND THIS WAS PART OF THE RULES WHEN YOU MARRIED</span>) wakling thru supermarket and loading and unloading a truck alone and putting groceries away. </p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px">i just feel very unappreciated as of late to a very high extent. granted i'm emotinoal (NO EXCUSES HERE GIRL---YOU FEEL UNAPPRECIATED) to no end and mite (NOPE YOU FEEL UNAPPRECIATED AND NEED TO EFFECTIVELY COMMUNICATE THIS TO YOUR FAMILY WITHOUT BEING EMOTIONAL ) be making more of this. i dont' know i'm too emotional to tell lol. i just dont' get why does my family bite this way<span style="color: purple"><strong>.(BECAUSE YOU DO IT SO MUCH THEY HAVE STOPPED TAKING YOU SERIOUSLY THEY JUST LOOK AT YOU AND ROLL THEIR EYES AND GO OH LOOK _ THERE GOES MOM .........AGAIN)</strong></span> seriously i do all i can for each one yet it's like i'm the matt and their the shoes sorta thing.</p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px">i'm like 2 min. away from jumping in my truck and pulling a dss mom move <span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: red">(BULL THIS IS YOUR HOUSE - STAND YOUR GROUND. EITHER GET SOME COUNSELING AND FIND OUT WHAT YOU NEED TO DO TO PULL YOU AND YOUR HOUSE BACK TOGETHER - THERE IS FREE COUNSELING AT EVERY MENTAL HEALTH CENTER IN EVERY COUNTY OR.....GO TO THE LIBRARY, FIND A CHURCH, FIND A SUPPORT GROUP and STOP ALLOWING THIS TO HAPPEN. TAKE BACK BEING IN CHARGE OF YOU AND YOUR HOUSE. THIS IS NOT difficult child's HOUSE, THIS IS NOT easy child's HOUSE, THIS IS YOUR HOUSE. YES you are TIRED. YES you ARE underappreciated. BUT IN ORDER TO RESTORE ORDER YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE TO DO IT. IN ORDER TO DO THAT YOU ARE GOING TO NEED HELP, NOT CONSTANTLY ASKING PLEASE and WILL YOU STOP? HELL NO they aren't going to stop.....THEY LIKE BEING IN CHARGE, THEY LIKE CHAOS....THEY LIKE DOING AS THEY PLEASE. SO IT IS UP TO YOU TO FIGURE THIS OUT AND RUNNING AWAY (while it sounds romantic) IS NOT AN OPTION)</span></span> and putting myself upin a hotel for 2 days getting away from all of them and than returning to the mess that will await me and maybe than they'd say oh wow she's really hurting. <span style="color: magenta">and no----------they would NOT say OH LOOK POOORRRR MOMMY SHE"s hurting - ish.....they would say....WHAT A WHINER......what a weakling......what a mess of a human. You're hoping for sympathy? Well grab a dictionary honey cause the only place you're going to find it is between X and X........</span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="color: magenta"><strong>(I personally hoped for a highway wreck and people gathered at my deathbed-side mourning the Mother they almost lost) thinking OH If I had ONLY behaved....If I had just given her a break. Well you know what? I had a stroke...and you know what was said? " Oh wow.....Can you give me money for the snack machine?" After that?? #)(#)($#)(@+)@!+_$) a bunch of that.</strong></span> </p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px">like enuf is enuf already is how i feel pretty much with all of them<span style="color: red">.(not really.....otherwise you would figure this out kiddo. You would get a counselor, and talk like you hadn't seen a person in like 100 years and you would say I want control of my house, my life, my marriage, my kids and I want it NOW - HELP ME!)</span> except my two dogs. love them. simple uncomplicated relationship black and white exactly what i love and thrive within. <span style="color: red">(100% agree - have 3 couldn't agree with you more. even the fish are more obedient than the kids) Now that you mention it? If I had given birth to puppies this would all be a non-issue. </span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="color: #ff0000">Listen - I love you......and I care like you have no idea. OTHERWISE I wouldn't lay it out like I did.....but falling apart and running away and HOPING and wishing that they'll see you are falling apart? NOT GONNA HAPPEN NEVER, NEVER, NEVER. Naught ah. (shakes head and purses lips) You don't need to say a word. Actually (raises eye brows) the LESS you say at this particular junction in it all - the mo' better you are going to be. Ask once - no response - LEAVE IT. Stop DOING it ALL - See what happens. Do for you - and husband - and when it comes to the kids? Let THEM figure it out. Ask yourself what is the absolute worst that can happen if you stop doing their laundry, cooking for them, cleaning their rooms, I mean make a list mentally of all the things you can TRULY stop doing for them. DO you buy them nice shampoo and stuff? Stop it - Start going to the dollar store. Really think on this. Do you get them clothes from the mall? Start going to the Salvation Army - Do you have a chore list? Post it - It doesn't get done? GROUND THEM. Stick to it.....</span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="color: #ff0000">But most importantly - POST house rules, consequences and rewards. Then find a good therapist.....and MAKE SURE you get 1 night a week ALONE with husband - period NO EXCUSES on either his or your part. And I mean what I said about difficult child screaming and controlling you at night - LOAD up and head to the ER. No talking - NO threats.....Just load up, tell them you feel she is a threat to herself and others - GET HER A ROOM and LEAVE her. </span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="color: #ff0000">These kids wear us to the bone. No shame in getting a few days rest. Maybe she does need a medications tweak. How would you know? You're worn out. Let pro's figure her out. And I'm telling you this because this is the kind of crud Dude used to pull on us - and after a while even HE got tired of hauling himself to the ER - He'd just stay in his room, watch TV....draw, color - I mean if you can't go to sleep that's one thing but bust in on me screaming? YOU GOTTA BE NUTS......so off to the nut hut we'll go. Know what I mean?? </span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="color: #ff0000">I love ya girl. </span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="color: #ff0000">Take care - and go find what ya can on effective communication. </span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="color: #ff0000">Hugs & Love '</span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="color: #ff0000">Star</span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 391406, member: 4964"] i feel very unappreciated [INDENT]by my family. yup it's been a rough rough past few mos. with-o a doubt. and yes i'm stressed, tired, emotional, swollen and reaching my pt. of no return i guess you could say. funny thing is i say that alot[COLOR=red] [/COLOR][COLOR=red][B][U]IF YOU ARE HAVING TO REPEAT THIS MORE THAN ONCE? NO ONE IS LISTENING. PERHAPS YOU NEED TO SIT THEM DOWN, GET THEIR ATTENTION AND MAKE THEM UNDERSTAND YOU'RE NOT GOING TO KEEP SAYING THIS MUCH LONGER[/U][/B][/COLOR]. as of late yet always return back to me. i dont' know anymore if that'sa good or bad thing. UM.....[COLOR=red][B][U]BAD, BAD, BAD. THE MORE UNAPPRECIATED YOU ARE THE CRANKIER YOU GET, THE CRANKIER YOU GET, THE WHINIER YOU GET, THE WHINIER YOU GET, THE LESS PEOPLE ARE TAKING YOU SERIOUSLY, AND THEN THE MORE FRUSTRATED YOU GET. KAPISH? [/U][/B][/COLOR]yet i have verbalized to husband and my family how unappreciated i feel as of late. bigtime. [COLOR=red][B](LALALALALAH NOT LISTENING TO YOU.....LOOK UP [U][COLOR=royalblue]EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION[/COLOR][/U] ON GOOGLE) [/B] [/COLOR]today was supposed to be special, an afternoon with husband and i and no kids no difficult child. the day began late bc as usual difficult child was up till 2 a.m. yet again harrassing me, screaming my name i can't sleep etc. driving me insane. [COLOR=red](NOT SOMETHING THAT CAN BE HELPED NECESSARILY[/COLOR]) husband and i stayed up past her torment to watch an episode of hells kitchen we'd been dying to see.([COLOR=red]DVR IT, AND GET TO BED SO YOU CAN ENJOY YOUR TOMORROW? NOPE YOU CHOSE TO STAY UP AND NOW EVERYONE IS CRANKY BUT YOU ARE TRYING TO RATIONALIZE THIS AND BLAME difficult child TCH TCH TCH) [/COLOR] so yea we're pushing the hours bad just to get time together. and this morning it happens. i fight to get husband and difficult child up. their both cranky. husband runs to get dog food and coffee. i work on difficult child. long story short i wanted to go riding really badly[COLOR=red].(PUTS OUT HANDS LIKE SCALES - JUST LAST NIGHT YOU WANTED TO SPEND QUALITY TIME WITH husband WHICH IS IT HERE?)[/COLOR] yet i'm just so swollen so as of yesterday i said it's a no go[COLOR=red].(THIS WAS A GOOD CHOICE FOR YOURSELF YOU ARE TIRED AND STAYED UP LATE, AND SWOLLEN[/COLOR]) than woke up today and said screw it[COLOR=red].(OH NO, BAD CHOICE FOR YOU[/COLOR]) i wanna go. husband doesn't deal well just like difficult child with change of plans[COLOR=red].(i SOOOOO GET THAT - DIDN'T HE THINK YOU WERE SPENDING ALONE TIME WITH HIM TODAY?)[/COLOR] thank god i dont' have that issue! long story short he says your annoying that your changing plans last min. i'm in this too ya know. [COLOR=red](GOTTA GIVE HIM THIS ONE JE' - SORRY BUT) [/COLOR]well tha'Tourette's Syndrome all i had to hear ****** i was bigtime. got in truck and had a huge argument i broke down and cried [COLOR=red](AGAIN - THIS IS SOMETHING WHO CAUSED BY CHANGING PLANS? HE'S NOT GOING TO BE SYMPATHETIC, BUT I REALLY DO GET THE i NEED TO RUN AWAY FROM THE MADNESS THING AT THIS POINT AND I WOULDA TRADED THIS NUTSY ENVIRONMENT FOR THE SMELL OF HORSE APPLES TOO - NO REALLY I WOULD HAVE)[/COLOR] and told him bring me home. [COLOR=red](I WOULD HAVE TOLD HIM TO TAKE ME TO THE BUS STATION)[/COLOR] which he did. and went to work[COLOR=red][B][U].(OKAY now I'M REALLY CONFUSED WEREN'T THE TWO OF YOU SUPPOSED TO SPEND QUALITY TIME ALONE TOGETHER TODAY WITHOUT THE KIDS/ AND YOU ARE TROTTIN' OFF TO BE WITH THE HORSES AND HE'S GOING TO WORK?) AND YOU'RE NEWLEY WEDS? HMMMM [/U][/B][/COLOR] easy child is nasty and difficult appreciates nothing. [COLOR=red](well......how appreciated do you think she feels in this house? She's a easy child, she lives with a difficult child, her Mom and Dad are arguing a lot, her Mom is falling apart - so who is she modeling her behavior after? I say this because until I realized how much I was falling apart in MY home - I didn't realize Dude was doing the same thing. And she's a teenager - BLECH... and if she IS watching you unload groceries? I mean TELL HER TO GET UP AND GET HER KIESTER OUT SIDE AND GET A BAG or she can forget eating! I mean it - that's the rule in the house - you wanna eat? You don't buy it? You're butt better be outside helping bring it in, and putting it away!)[/COLOR] watched me unload an entire truck full of groceries today and laid in her bed and watched me even as i asked [COLOR=red](ASKED MY AUNT ASCOTT - GET UP OFF YOUR REAR END RIGHT NOW AND UNLOAD THIS NOW)[/COLOR] please [COLOR=red](STOP SAYING PLEASE[/COLOR]) help me. she's been grounded [COLOR=red](just because she's grounded doesn't mean the world and the house and the life in that house stops nor does chores - she is SO going to get MORE grounding if she doesn't start pitching in)[/COLOR] so she does nothing for no one and is a big witch.[COLOR=magenta](being a witch? Her perogative - being it on her own time - YOUR perrogative) [/COLOR]difficult child appreciates zero. i run all day for her[COLOR=red],(WELL THEN STOP IT, and see if her butt gets any thinner and you have more time for yourself...DELEGATE)[/COLOR] work my butt off even when i'm in pain for whatever she wants [SIZE=4][COLOR=red](READ THIS RIDICULOUS STATEMENT TO YOURSELF OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER) ---go ahead READ IT - and pretend I'm telling you THIS IS ME AND DUDE.....[/COLOR][/SIZE] and at night she tortures me [COLOR=darkorange][B](yeah this would stop or she'd be taken to the psychiatrist or ER and I would say she's a danger to herself or others and left - you wanna keep screwing with me? Fine - HERE's WHAT happens to YOU when YOU do this to me - we get in the car and we take you to the ER and people examine you over and over for your mental health at 2:00 AM and eventually with 10 or so trips in a month SOMEONE from MENTAL health will have you committed to the psychiatric ward or state hospital and you will STAY and I will get some sleep. )[/B][/COLOR] even when i say hey i don't feel well [COLOR=red][B][U](STOP SAYING THIS THEY DON'T CARE and actually THIS IS WHAT THEY WANT TO HEAR YOU SAY BECAUSE THEN IT MEANS I WIN JUST SHUT UP, PUT YOUR SLIPPERS ON, GRAB YOUR KEYS, PUT HER IN THE CAR AND TAKE HER TO THE ER)[/U][/B][/COLOR] please [SIZE=5](STOP SAYING PLEASE)[/SIZE] stop screaming you took the medications just do your breathing. husband well you can imagine how disappointed i am in him. [COLOR=sandybrown]THEN COMMUNICATE THIS TO HIM- DO NOT KEEP IT INSIDE - HOW IS HE GOING TO KNOW WHAT TO DO TO CHANGE IF YOU DO NOT TELL HIM???[/COLOR] i was so very sad to be spending my free day [COLOR=red](THIS WAS YOUR DAY...WHY WOULD HE EVEN CONSIDER ASKING YOU TO DO THIS WITHOUT THE PROMISE OF ANOTHER FREE DAY FOR YOURSELF? BALONEY THIS IS SELFISH UNLESS YOU BOTH OWN THIS BUSINESS AND THIS WAS PART OF THE RULES WHEN YOU MARRIED[/COLOR]) wakling thru supermarket and loading and unloading a truck alone and putting groceries away. i just feel very unappreciated as of late to a very high extent. granted i'm emotinoal (NO EXCUSES HERE GIRL---YOU FEEL UNAPPRECIATED) to no end and mite (NOPE YOU FEEL UNAPPRECIATED AND NEED TO EFFECTIVELY COMMUNICATE THIS TO YOUR FAMILY WITHOUT BEING EMOTIONAL ) be making more of this. i dont' know i'm too emotional to tell lol. i just dont' get why does my family bite this way[COLOR=purple][B].(BECAUSE YOU DO IT SO MUCH THEY HAVE STOPPED TAKING YOU SERIOUSLY THEY JUST LOOK AT YOU AND ROLL THEIR EYES AND GO OH LOOK _ THERE GOES MOM .........AGAIN)[/B][/COLOR] seriously i do all i can for each one yet it's like i'm the matt and their the shoes sorta thing. i'm like 2 min. away from jumping in my truck and pulling a dss mom move [SIZE=3][COLOR=red](BULL THIS IS YOUR HOUSE - STAND YOUR GROUND. EITHER GET SOME COUNSELING AND FIND OUT WHAT YOU NEED TO DO TO PULL YOU AND YOUR HOUSE BACK TOGETHER - THERE IS FREE COUNSELING AT EVERY MENTAL HEALTH CENTER IN EVERY COUNTY OR.....GO TO THE LIBRARY, FIND A CHURCH, FIND A SUPPORT GROUP and STOP ALLOWING THIS TO HAPPEN. TAKE BACK BEING IN CHARGE OF YOU AND YOUR HOUSE. THIS IS NOT difficult child's HOUSE, THIS IS NOT easy child's HOUSE, THIS IS YOUR HOUSE. YES you are TIRED. YES you ARE underappreciated. BUT IN ORDER TO RESTORE ORDER YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE TO DO IT. IN ORDER TO DO THAT YOU ARE GOING TO NEED HELP, NOT CONSTANTLY ASKING PLEASE and WILL YOU STOP? HELL NO they aren't going to stop.....THEY LIKE BEING IN CHARGE, THEY LIKE CHAOS....THEY LIKE DOING AS THEY PLEASE. SO IT IS UP TO YOU TO FIGURE THIS OUT AND RUNNING AWAY (while it sounds romantic) IS NOT AN OPTION)[/COLOR][/SIZE] and putting myself upin a hotel for 2 days getting away from all of them and than returning to the mess that will await me and maybe than they'd say oh wow she's really hurting. [COLOR=magenta]and no----------they would NOT say OH LOOK POOORRRR MOMMY SHE"s hurting - ish.....they would say....WHAT A WHINER......what a weakling......what a mess of a human. You're hoping for sympathy? Well grab a dictionary honey cause the only place you're going to find it is between X and X........[/COLOR] [COLOR=magenta][B](I personally hoped for a highway wreck and people gathered at my deathbed-side mourning the Mother they almost lost) thinking OH If I had ONLY behaved....If I had just given her a break. Well you know what? I had a stroke...and you know what was said? " Oh wow.....Can you give me money for the snack machine?" After that?? #)(#)($#)(@+)@!+_$) a bunch of that.[/B][/COLOR] like enuf is enuf already is how i feel pretty much with all of them[COLOR=red].(not really.....otherwise you would figure this out kiddo. You would get a counselor, and talk like you hadn't seen a person in like 100 years and you would say I want control of my house, my life, my marriage, my kids and I want it NOW - HELP ME!)[/COLOR] except my two dogs. love them. simple uncomplicated relationship black and white exactly what i love and thrive within. [COLOR=red](100% agree - have 3 couldn't agree with you more. even the fish are more obedient than the kids) Now that you mention it? If I had given birth to puppies this would all be a non-issue. [/COLOR] [COLOR=#ff0000][/COLOR] [COLOR=#ff0000]Listen - I love you......and I care like you have no idea. OTHERWISE I wouldn't lay it out like I did.....but falling apart and running away and HOPING and wishing that they'll see you are falling apart? NOT GONNA HAPPEN NEVER, NEVER, NEVER. Naught ah. (shakes head and purses lips) You don't need to say a word. Actually (raises eye brows) the LESS you say at this particular junction in it all - the mo' better you are going to be. Ask once - no response - LEAVE IT. Stop DOING it ALL - See what happens. Do for you - and husband - and when it comes to the kids? Let THEM figure it out. Ask yourself what is the absolute worst that can happen if you stop doing their laundry, cooking for them, cleaning their rooms, I mean make a list mentally of all the things you can TRULY stop doing for them. DO you buy them nice shampoo and stuff? Stop it - Start going to the dollar store. Really think on this. Do you get them clothes from the mall? Start going to the Salvation Army - Do you have a chore list? Post it - It doesn't get done? GROUND THEM. Stick to it.....[/COLOR] [COLOR=#ff0000][/COLOR] [COLOR=#ff0000]But most importantly - POST house rules, consequences and rewards. Then find a good therapist.....and MAKE SURE you get 1 night a week ALONE with husband - period NO EXCUSES on either his or your part. And I mean what I said about difficult child screaming and controlling you at night - LOAD up and head to the ER. No talking - NO threats.....Just load up, tell them you feel she is a threat to herself and others - GET HER A ROOM and LEAVE her. [/COLOR] [COLOR=#ff0000][/COLOR] [COLOR=#ff0000]These kids wear us to the bone. No shame in getting a few days rest. Maybe she does need a medications tweak. How would you know? You're worn out. Let pro's figure her out. And I'm telling you this because this is the kind of crud Dude used to pull on us - and after a while even HE got tired of hauling himself to the ER - He'd just stay in his room, watch TV....draw, color - I mean if you can't go to sleep that's one thing but bust in on me screaming? YOU GOTTA BE NUTS......so off to the nut hut we'll go. Know what I mean?? [/COLOR] [COLOR=#ff0000][/COLOR] [COLOR=#ff0000]I love ya girl. [/COLOR] [COLOR=#ff0000][/COLOR] [COLOR=#ff0000]Take care - and go find what ya can on effective communication. [/COLOR] [COLOR=#ff0000][/COLOR] [COLOR=#ff0000]Hugs & Love '[/COLOR] [COLOR=#ff0000]Star[/COLOR] [/INDENT] [/QUOTE]
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i feel very unappreciated
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