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I finally did it, but Bart is fuming and blocked me.
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<blockquote data-quote="overcome mom" data-source="post: 740877" data-attributes="member: 23328"><p>I have been reading the thread and everyone's replies. I have been through it all too, the repeated phone calls telling me everything that is wrong and me responding and getting yelled at for what stupid ideas I have for solving his problems. Also the lack of empathy. I cannot remember the last time my son asked how me or his father was doing. I called him on it one time and he said I thought if it was important you would tell me. I informed him that I was not going to tell him that he would have to ask. This did not happen. I know my son was shocked lately when he heard we bought a travel trailer about a year ago. We didn't tell him in the beginning because we didn't want to hear about when he asked for money and we didn't give it to him. He has been by the house since we bought it but couldn't see it as we store it in our out building. He has never asked for details of any of our trips so didn't even have to try and not tell him.</p><p>We just went on a long trip and my husband was contacting my son along the way telling him about what we were seeing. This just stressed me out. When I hear the details of what is going on with him then I start to running through the possible scenarios of what is going to happen in the future, lose job ,homeless etc. </p><p>SWOT I too feel guilty when I don't want to talk to my son but I am trying not to, I have the right to be happy. I don't know how much longer I have on this earth but I don't want to spend it riddled with anxiety. I haven't heard from him in 3 days and I am so much more relaxed. Right now for me not talking to him takes some of the stress away. I am trying to tell myself that me letting him use me as a punching bag, lying to me, has taught him that he can do this to others and that is not good for him. I know he acts a lot the way he does because of his mental illnesses but he needs to learn different ways of getting what he wants. I have done all that I can do the last 25 years as I am sure you have. Things have not improved much . I do tell him I love him which I do with all my heart but me bailing him out has not helped him or me. I know a lot of the times I have given him money it was the wrong thing to do but it kept things from escalating and reduced my stress. </p><p>I am glad you have been able to turn off your phone I do think that it is the right thing to do for you at this point and you shouldn't feel guilty. You are teaching him how to properly respond to others.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="overcome mom, post: 740877, member: 23328"] I have been reading the thread and everyone's replies. I have been through it all too, the repeated phone calls telling me everything that is wrong and me responding and getting yelled at for what stupid ideas I have for solving his problems. Also the lack of empathy. I cannot remember the last time my son asked how me or his father was doing. I called him on it one time and he said I thought if it was important you would tell me. I informed him that I was not going to tell him that he would have to ask. This did not happen. I know my son was shocked lately when he heard we bought a travel trailer about a year ago. We didn't tell him in the beginning because we didn't want to hear about when he asked for money and we didn't give it to him. He has been by the house since we bought it but couldn't see it as we store it in our out building. He has never asked for details of any of our trips so didn't even have to try and not tell him. We just went on a long trip and my husband was contacting my son along the way telling him about what we were seeing. This just stressed me out. When I hear the details of what is going on with him then I start to running through the possible scenarios of what is going to happen in the future, lose job ,homeless etc. SWOT I too feel guilty when I don't want to talk to my son but I am trying not to, I have the right to be happy. I don't know how much longer I have on this earth but I don't want to spend it riddled with anxiety. I haven't heard from him in 3 days and I am so much more relaxed. Right now for me not talking to him takes some of the stress away. I am trying to tell myself that me letting him use me as a punching bag, lying to me, has taught him that he can do this to others and that is not good for him. I know he acts a lot the way he does because of his mental illnesses but he needs to learn different ways of getting what he wants. I have done all that I can do the last 25 years as I am sure you have. Things have not improved much . I do tell him I love him which I do with all my heart but me bailing him out has not helped him or me. I know a lot of the times I have given him money it was the wrong thing to do but it kept things from escalating and reduced my stress. I am glad you have been able to turn off your phone I do think that it is the right thing to do for you at this point and you shouldn't feel guilty. You are teaching him how to properly respond to others. [/QUOTE]
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I finally did it, but Bart is fuming and blocked me.
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