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I finally put my foot down. still in shock.
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 695978" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>He is an idiot. Research has proven over and over that ulcers, which is what it sounds like, are caused by bacterial infection unless you spent long periods of time on medications that eroded your stomach lining and caused permanent problems (my issue). He likely needs a few weeks of antibiotics and medications like lansoprasole or omeprazole (BOTH are over the counter and generic at the store) to kill the h. pylori. Stress makes you more vulnerable to infection, as does increased alcohol consumption which stress can trigger. Increased alcohol consumption can further irritate the stomach also.</p><p></p><p>If idiot won't go to a doctor, he can at least get some lansoprazole and in 1-2 weeks he would be improved. He does not WANT to improve, he wants to whine. He gets attention and to feel important when he can take up your time and upset you and make you focus on HIM HIM HIM!!! So he is not going to get better unless you insist.</p><p></p><p>I would text him that his hang up was the last straw. No matter how stressed he is, he can still mind his manners with you. I would also tell him that until he has at LEAST spent $15-20 on one of those stomach medications (brands names are Prevacid and Prilosec) AND he has taken it for a week, minimum, you will not answer his calls or reply to his texts.</p><p></p><p>Then I would do that.</p><p></p><p>You would do him a HUGE service by drawing a clear boundary and enforcing it lovingly. I would be willing to bet that his manners are not great in other situations, esp stressful work ones. Being able to ignore his manners simply because he is upset is not how the world works, esp the business world. He has to learn that being rude gets nothing and minding his manners gets attention. Think of it as dog training. With the caveat that he CAN make a link to you telling him that bad manners won't get attention and neither will ignoring his health (his son NEEDS him healthy, doesn't he?) and then you refusing contact until he actually minds his manners and does at least a little about his stomach issues. Tell him ONE TIME that those are your terms for contact and then if he is rude to you, disconnect and don't answer until a text or opening sentence is polite. Attention ONLY goes to behavior you want to see continued, no matter what.</p><p></p><p>At this point, all you can do is hold back attention when his behavior is not appropriate, so that is what you should do. This (his situation) is ONLY your problem if you ALLOW it. You are feeding his problem and it isn't healthy. So concentrate on only feeding appropriate behaviors - he is an adult and if he cannot grasp this then I doubt he can function in society at all. So let it be HIS PROBLEM and go about dealing with what is actually something you can change.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 695978, member: 1233"] He is an idiot. Research has proven over and over that ulcers, which is what it sounds like, are caused by bacterial infection unless you spent long periods of time on medications that eroded your stomach lining and caused permanent problems (my issue). He likely needs a few weeks of antibiotics and medications like lansoprasole or omeprazole (BOTH are over the counter and generic at the store) to kill the h. pylori. Stress makes you more vulnerable to infection, as does increased alcohol consumption which stress can trigger. Increased alcohol consumption can further irritate the stomach also. If idiot won't go to a doctor, he can at least get some lansoprazole and in 1-2 weeks he would be improved. He does not WANT to improve, he wants to whine. He gets attention and to feel important when he can take up your time and upset you and make you focus on HIM HIM HIM!!! So he is not going to get better unless you insist. I would text him that his hang up was the last straw. No matter how stressed he is, he can still mind his manners with you. I would also tell him that until he has at LEAST spent $15-20 on one of those stomach medications (brands names are Prevacid and Prilosec) AND he has taken it for a week, minimum, you will not answer his calls or reply to his texts. Then I would do that. You would do him a HUGE service by drawing a clear boundary and enforcing it lovingly. I would be willing to bet that his manners are not great in other situations, esp stressful work ones. Being able to ignore his manners simply because he is upset is not how the world works, esp the business world. He has to learn that being rude gets nothing and minding his manners gets attention. Think of it as dog training. With the caveat that he CAN make a link to you telling him that bad manners won't get attention and neither will ignoring his health (his son NEEDS him healthy, doesn't he?) and then you refusing contact until he actually minds his manners and does at least a little about his stomach issues. Tell him ONE TIME that those are your terms for contact and then if he is rude to you, disconnect and don't answer until a text or opening sentence is polite. Attention ONLY goes to behavior you want to see continued, no matter what. At this point, all you can do is hold back attention when his behavior is not appropriate, so that is what you should do. This (his situation) is ONLY your problem if you ALLOW it. You are feeding his problem and it isn't healthy. So concentrate on only feeding appropriate behaviors - he is an adult and if he cannot grasp this then I doubt he can function in society at all. So let it be HIS PROBLEM and go about dealing with what is actually something you can change. [/QUOTE]
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I finally put my foot down. still in shock.
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