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Parent Emeritus
I finally threw her out
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<blockquote data-quote="elizabrary" data-source="post: 744604" data-attributes="member: 11235"><p>Educate yourself on boundaries and enabling. Learn to put your focus on yourself and getting healthy and peaceful. There are times I have to have no contact with my daughter. Currently it's usually only a day or two. In the past it has been for months at a time because she was such a mess. I had to turn my phones off just to get her to stop calling, especially when I first started setting boundaries. When you set boundaries with these adult kids who have never had any they up the ante and their behavior gets worse before it gets better. That's OK- they can be as crazy as they want, just disconnect and don't let it affect you. Don't bail her out, don't give her money, don't give her a place to live. You can love her without enabling her bad behavior. I always tell my daughter- I will do anything to help you get well. I will do nothing that helps keep you sick. My baseline for determining enabling is: doing something for an adult that they are capable of doing for themselves. I know how difficult this is. Sending peace your way.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="elizabrary, post: 744604, member: 11235"] Educate yourself on boundaries and enabling. Learn to put your focus on yourself and getting healthy and peaceful. There are times I have to have no contact with my daughter. Currently it's usually only a day or two. In the past it has been for months at a time because she was such a mess. I had to turn my phones off just to get her to stop calling, especially when I first started setting boundaries. When you set boundaries with these adult kids who have never had any they up the ante and their behavior gets worse before it gets better. That's OK- they can be as crazy as they want, just disconnect and don't let it affect you. Don't bail her out, don't give her money, don't give her a place to live. You can love her without enabling her bad behavior. I always tell my daughter- I will do anything to help you get well. I will do nothing that helps keep you sick. My baseline for determining enabling is: doing something for an adult that they are capable of doing for themselves. I know how difficult this is. Sending peace your way. [/QUOTE]
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I finally threw her out
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