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Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
I finally threw her out
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<blockquote data-quote="RPmom" data-source="post: 744698" data-attributes="member: 23522"><p>As soon as I wrote that final sentence the thought dawned on me that while I have did not encourage her to be a liar or thief, I know that children of alcoholics tend to have these kind of problems because of the deceit that they deal with in their lives and I am not ignorant of the fact now. But more importantly, I never let her deal with the consequences of her lying and stealing. I stole one time and one time only from the babysitter when I was very young, around four. I think it was a ring and I hid it in a drawer and showed my mom or dad “oh look what I found.” I was immediately taken to the babysitter where I had to apologize for my actions. I was so ashamed and I never forgot that lesson. And I have never stolen another thing in my life. My daughter has been a compulsive liar as long as I can remember but I do not remember one time making her suffer consequences for that, In fact, a lot of times even when I knew she was lying I couldn’t prove it so I just either gave up her gave her the benefit of the doubt.When she began stealing, she was stealing from me and again I would just cry and wring my hands and ask her why, but no consequences. I actually made it pretty easy for her to steal from me, just like she did this last time, because I handed her the debit card pretty much knowing she was going to steal from me. Because that’s what she does.When she began shoplifting I hired lawyers to get her off. So I’m wrong. It was not all on her. She may have lied and stolen, but I let her get away with it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="RPmom, post: 744698, member: 23522"] As soon as I wrote that final sentence the thought dawned on me that while I have did not encourage her to be a liar or thief, I know that children of alcoholics tend to have these kind of problems because of the deceit that they deal with in their lives and I am not ignorant of the fact now. But more importantly, I never let her deal with the consequences of her lying and stealing. I stole one time and one time only from the babysitter when I was very young, around four. I think it was a ring and I hid it in a drawer and showed my mom or dad “oh look what I found.” I was immediately taken to the babysitter where I had to apologize for my actions. I was so ashamed and I never forgot that lesson. And I have never stolen another thing in my life. My daughter has been a compulsive liar as long as I can remember but I do not remember one time making her suffer consequences for that, In fact, a lot of times even when I knew she was lying I couldn’t prove it so I just either gave up her gave her the benefit of the doubt.When she began stealing, she was stealing from me and again I would just cry and wring my hands and ask her why, but no consequences. I actually made it pretty easy for her to steal from me, just like she did this last time, because I handed her the debit card pretty much knowing she was going to steal from me. Because that’s what she does.When she began shoplifting I hired lawyers to get her off. So I’m wrong. It was not all on her. She may have lied and stolen, but I let her get away with it. [/QUOTE]
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I finally threw her out
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