Yep. Thanks to the search engine posted in water cooler by Ant's Mom I found her. She's living in her hometown in Missouri. I checked out the property address. It's a rental. Wish my credit card wasn't maxed out or I'd gather more info. I did get her address. It doesn't surprise me that she doesn't have a phone. So I tried looking up husband's ex wife. I know her full name and birthday. I got nothing. Weird. So I looked to see if stepgfg and her b/f, Kayla and Alex's dad, might still be together. I found him, but he's off in timbucktoo. No where near them. Not sure if this is a good thing or not. N wants me to write her a letter today. husband has failed to comment except "oh". He didn't even get up to come over and look at the computer. I know she's my step daughter, but this child has been in my life since she was 3 yrs old. I love her as much as my own kids. My heart wants me to write to her. There are so many things I'd like to know, if for peace of mind if nothing else. I'd like to know if she ever grew up, got off the drugs or got help for her major gfgness. I'd be thrilled to find out how my grandchildren are doing. But my head isn't so sure this is a good idea. psychiatrist at Children's when N was hospitalized said this was a major trauma in her life. I know it was for me. And I don't know if I should open that door again. Even if I did write to her there is no reason to believe I'll get a response. The letter she mailed to us when she disappeared said she never wanted us in her life again. I'm just mulling this around for the moment. Sort of thinking aloud. I know if we could at least get some closure on this it would make N feel better about the whole mess. N was devistated by this. And not just her. The whole family was. And we're all the family Kayla and Alex have, most especially if something happened to husband's ex. Their Dad had no family. I've waited almost 5 yrs hoping she'd contact us. We've moved, but I'm in the book. Her grandmother never moved. There where ways for her to contact us if she wanted. But the letter she mailed was nasty, and didn't make alot of sense. I still have it locked away. Maybe she's been afraid to contact us for fear of our reaction if she tried. Who knows? Ugh.