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<blockquote data-quote="Andy" data-source="post: 189810" data-attributes="member: 5096"><p>It is not God's Will that you or anyone else suffers. He hates pain as much as we do. God has given everyone a free will. That is where the problems of the world come in. When people are looking out for only themselves, they make selfish choices that hurt those around them.</p><p> </p><p>Kids are people too. They also get a free will. Many kids live in the moment - they only see what will make them happy this very second. They do not look ahead to see what might happen. So, they follow their in the moment plan and end up in trouble.</p><p> </p><p>difficult children are harder to parent because they can't always connect the consequence with the action. One example: When difficult child was about 5 yrs old, he and the neighbor boy decided to throw sharp landscape stones at the leaves to make them fall from the trees. One stone landed on difficult child's head resulting in a trip to the ER for stiches. While there, I asked difficult child if that was a good idea to throw those stones. He replied, "Yes, that was cool." He would have easily returned to stone throwing when he got home. Just didn't see the connection and that it could happen again.</p><p> </p><p>I don't really have any advise - not sure what I would do - what is the law about refusing your minor child to come home? </p><p> </p><p>If she does have to come back, set up some comfy chairs outside the house with a table of beveridges and snacks. Before she can step foot in the house, you two are going to have a very long heart to heart talk. "difficult child, you are 17 yrs old. I can not believe that you have been happy with your life up until now. We need to discuss how our home is to kept calm and peaceful - how everyone in it will respect each other and the house rules." Then present a "contract" that includes curfew, the type of language that will not be used in the house, chores she is responsible for, access time to a vehicle (or none), what meals and services you will provide in return (all meals, laundry needs, ect.).</p><p> </p><p>I send you strength in whatever decision you make. Hugs!!!</p><p> </p><p>p.s. You may want to update your signature now that she is 17 yrs old.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Andy, post: 189810, member: 5096"] It is not God's Will that you or anyone else suffers. He hates pain as much as we do. God has given everyone a free will. That is where the problems of the world come in. When people are looking out for only themselves, they make selfish choices that hurt those around them. Kids are people too. They also get a free will. Many kids live in the moment - they only see what will make them happy this very second. They do not look ahead to see what might happen. So, they follow their in the moment plan and end up in trouble. difficult children are harder to parent because they can't always connect the consequence with the action. One example: When difficult child was about 5 yrs old, he and the neighbor boy decided to throw sharp landscape stones at the leaves to make them fall from the trees. One stone landed on difficult child's head resulting in a trip to the ER for stiches. While there, I asked difficult child if that was a good idea to throw those stones. He replied, "Yes, that was cool." He would have easily returned to stone throwing when he got home. Just didn't see the connection and that it could happen again. I don't really have any advise - not sure what I would do - what is the law about refusing your minor child to come home? If she does have to come back, set up some comfy chairs outside the house with a table of beveridges and snacks. Before she can step foot in the house, you two are going to have a very long heart to heart talk. "difficult child, you are 17 yrs old. I can not believe that you have been happy with your life up until now. We need to discuss how our home is to kept calm and peaceful - how everyone in it will respect each other and the house rules." Then present a "contract" that includes curfew, the type of language that will not be used in the house, chores she is responsible for, access time to a vehicle (or none), what meals and services you will provide in return (all meals, laundry needs, ect.). I send you strength in whatever decision you make. Hugs!!! p.s. You may want to update your signature now that she is 17 yrs old. [/QUOTE]
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