you guys are so right, I think it never hurts just to let people know you are simply there, listening and truly caring. I felt that from the start when I first posted (wow over a year now) and remembering checking over and over to see if anyone was out there or if I was just stuck in these thoughts all by myself.
Never think your input is not valuable. I know I do not make sense in my post often these days because my head does not make sense, but when I see a reply that just says, hi, I'm here.....it gets me through it.
That said, I'll jump off my box and say I am really sorry he is suffering this and that you have to work through such hard decisions. I could easily be in your shoes over our issues ....needing to look for residential in a hurry. Hoping it wont go that way but I can imagine the trauma it will be to go through that.
I am sure it is heart breaking but given how smart he is (I agree, for him it sounds like IQ is an invalid measure of his ability) he could easily figure out a way to sneak and be a perpetrator which of course hurts the victim but will ultimately hurt any chance he has of at least doing something, even if it is supervised work or whatever. No one wants their loved one to have to live with the stigma of being someone who hurt others like that.
I really admire that you are taking the bull by the horns and looking for solutions. I hope you dont run into too many brick walls though I can imagine you will hit some. I certainly know what it meas to just have it be you, the parent who has to do the 24/7 monitoring if needed. Not ideal, but we do what we have to do till we can find a better way. At least we get it that they can't be left alone.
