Sorry I haven't been around to be a help to people when they were down and we were up. There's a reason, though. One kid went off to college, I started grad school, and my son wasn't a disaster for a short time, so we were actually able to breathe and relax for a while. I also don't have much to offer in the way of advice to people. Anyway -- we are in another crisis. My difficult child, now 14, got a great therapist, did a therapy program for sexually deviant behavior, was doing well enough for them to "graduate" us when his therapist moved away, even though we begged to stay in program. We found another therapist -- don't know if she is the right one, but she does agree that all of our psychiatric testing (we had funky test results) indicates that we need a neurologist, and she is willing to advocate for us so we don't get tossed out without neuro testing (like the previous three times). We have an appointment. on Dec. 5th. Today he was at his grandparents' house and they caught him sneaking onto the computer and looking up pictures of naked children. After a frank talk, he admitted that he is sexually attracted to 7 and 8 year-old children, couldn't discern if male or female because he says he doesn't know. He has never touched one, nor does he plan to, he says, but I can't believe that he won't be led to it at some point due to his absolutely terrible impulse control. He says that he thinks of naked little kids when he masturbates (which he has had compulsive problem with). He now also says he is suicidal again, and has been for a few months. I called BS on that one ( even though I put precautions in place without him knowing) because he later slipped and told me he is suicidal only because he got caught again, just like he did one year ago with the animal killing. I am taking it seriously, just not taking him to ER tonight. He was afraid I would put him back in the hospital today. I told him that I could not promise that he would not go back to hospital at some point, because wanting to kill yourself is a horrible feeling to walk around with and I wanted to help him feel better as soon as possible. We are currently on no medications, as he has LOW TOLERANCE to almost everything we have tried. MY thoughts tonight: we need an Residential Treatment Center (RTC). I don't know how to get one. His problems are now totally out of my league, but he has not committed any crime. How do I find one? How do I pay for one? This is new territory. Where we stand tonight -- I gave him a Benadryl, which I never use outside of allergy, but I know knocks him out safely, and a sleeping on the couch. He can't go to any part of the house without walking past me and if I sleep, it will be a light one. Tomorrow morning call the therapist first thing. Anyone experienced significant sexual deviance? Residential Treatment Center (RTC) Advice?