I guess I'll never understand !!!

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by sooooo tired, Apr 23, 2017.

  1. sooooo tired

    sooooo tired soooootired

    Even though my life is so much calmer without my daughter in my life, she still has a way of making me feel like a really bad person! I know what everyone will tell me, and I know I shouldn't do it ,but my curiosity gets to me sometimes and i get on her facebook page. I was with my boyfriends family on easter, and didnt see my kids. The other 2 were fine with it and told me to enjoy myself. But my other daughter had to put really hurtful comments on her page. She went on and on about how blessed she is to have her loving family to celebrate the holiday with. Mind you these are the same people just a few years ago she hated. Now she talks about my grandsons grandma and grandpa (which they are not even blood relatives) and says how lucky my grandson is to have them in his life since he has no other granparents!! All of those people rolled into one have not done a thing for her. But me who has bent over backwards for her gets badmouthed time and time again. She is so angry because I dont pick up my grandson every weekend anymore. But I have a boyfriend now that lives in cleveland and I enjoy spending weekends with him. So that makes me a bad grandma. I know she is telling my grandson negative things about me. And even though i love my grandson very much, I am enjoying my life right now and dont want to babysit all the time. The main thing that bothers me is I really dont think she acknowledges anything i have ever done for her!!!
     
  2. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    You cant control her. Stay off her page. You figured it out yourself lol. Facebook is often used as a bully pulpit for those who like to bully. The only thing you learn from going to a bullies fb page, even if it is a child of yours, is that she has not changed and that you made a smart decision to guard your precious heart by not engaging with her. It would be more of the same crapola. She is still the same.

    Your normal kids showed you how typical, nice adult chilldren react to normal changes in routine. You cant reason with an unreasonable person. Go on with your life and let your bpyfriend and other two adult children be a great support system and remember to count your blessings. You have a lot. Your daughter is spewing untrue nonsense. Why read it?

    Have a peaceful day. Do something awesome for yourself.
     
  3. goin_crazy

    goin_crazy New Member

    I know how you feel. I could have written that first sentence you wrote yet I got so upset that my daughter didn't seem to notice I was ignoring her back that I texted, called, and emailed apologies when I don't think I'm wrong but I can't stand for her to ignore me. Then after a day of that I went to her house. My husband didn't think she'd open the door but she did and acted semi normal. So weird. I don't get these kids at all. I actually know two great moms who's daughters cut them off. This didn't happen with my generation. You're not a bad person you're worried about your child. Grown or not she'll always be your child. I totally get that she doesn't acknowledge anything you did do and is focused on what you didn't. Mine does the same thing. With mine is money but I can't give her as much as she was taking and she spends it on stupid things plus she has a husband and we paid for college but she doesn't work. I can't give in on the money and you shouldn't give in on your time just to make her happy. Lots of grown children do this and take Mom for granted. Stay strong and pray for her to come around.

    Sent from my SM-G930V using Tapatalk
     
  4. Tanya M

    Tanya M Living with an attitude of gratitude Staff Member

    Her behavior is so typical. It's just an attempt to guilt you into giving into her. You are doing great, you really are. Yes, it can be very painful to look at their FB pages and to read the ugly things they write about us. Her posting the things she does is a measure of her immaturity. Don't hold onto her words as they are empty. You know in your heart the truth, you know all you have done for her, and that is enough.
    You just go about living your life to the fullest.

    ((HUGS)) to you sweet lady. :flower:
     
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