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Parent Emeritus
I had high hopes...
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 711662" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>ksm. This is what I might do: I might pay the fine, just to clean this up. In this case I would tell myself I am doing it for me, not for her.</p><p></p><p>You want her to go to the marines. You believe it is a good opportunity. On balance you believe she can do it. Or at least you believe the risk is worth it. You want this opportunity for her to realize something good in her life. This is really all about you.</p><p></p><p>I do not think this isolated instance of enabling will ruin her.</p><p></p><p>But the thing is, when is she going? A week? 6 weeks? 3 months? If she is self-sabotaging she could up the ante. She could have more of these crises requiring cleanup. That is what has to be faced up front.</p><p></p><p>The question is this: is this a one off deal or is this a domino effect either because of some incapacity in her part or fear and a desire to not go.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 711662, member: 18958"] ksm. This is what I might do: I might pay the fine, just to clean this up. In this case I would tell myself I am doing it for me, not for her. You want her to go to the marines. You believe it is a good opportunity. On balance you believe she can do it. Or at least you believe the risk is worth it. You want this opportunity for her to realize something good in her life. This is really all about you. I do not think this isolated instance of enabling will ruin her. But the thing is, when is she going? A week? 6 weeks? 3 months? If she is self-sabotaging she could up the ante. She could have more of these crises requiring cleanup. That is what has to be faced up front. The question is this: is this a one off deal or is this a domino effect either because of some incapacity in her part or fear and a desire to not go. [/QUOTE]
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I had high hopes...
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