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I had to turn my 20 yr old into the Police, heartbroken...
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<blockquote data-quote="Chaosuncontained" data-source="post: 457454" data-attributes="member: 11016"><p>Thank you all for your support and telling me your stories... it does help me. All of my friends and family try to talk to me but they haven't been there. If I hear "I'm so proud of you for doing this" I will scream. I know it is something I needed to do. But I'm not proud. I do not want a medal pinned to my chest because I had to turn my daughter in. It is THE worst thing I have done in my life--the hardest. And it hurts the most.</p><p></p><p>What I worry and have nightmares about is I WANT her to be arrested. Then I will know she is out of danger. But I also know with two known robberies of houses (and the detective told me that there are several more reported around the same time, in the general area as one of them...that she is most likely involved in others) that she will be facing serious jail (prison) time. Plus the whole 'she is gonna hate me factor'. We are VERY close. She (obviously) tells me everything. Stuff with her jobs, boyfriends, friends, and her crimminal activities (here lately). </p><p></p><p></p><p>She has lied a lot as a teen, rebelled enough to sneak out of her bedroom window, drank alcohol... she is a very stubborn person, who has very stong opinions. Her and her Father were very close when she was younger, up until we divorced and her was dating girls close to her age (he is married to a person 20 years his junior now). Now they barely stand one another. They are so much alike. Argumentitive, "always right" and stubborn as the day is long.</p><p></p><p>She was our only child until she turned 10. We then had three kids within 5 years. Obviously, looking back now, she needed therapy. She felt displaced. </p><p></p><p>I know these aren't EXCUSES for her behaviour but maybe insights or explanatiosn for PART of the reason she has done the things she has done. Drugs, alcohol, theft. I don't know. This is all new to me.</p><p></p><p>I'm glad you all are here. I don't feel so alone in this anymore. </p><p></p><p>I have 3 other bio kids. And 4 step kids that I have to care for--I can't imagine having to go through this again with one, two or more of the other kids. I do try to take care of me--but sometimes it feels like there just isn't enough of me to go around. We have all 7 kids this weekend. I know I will be kept busy, but the stress of this in my heart will make it that much harder.</p><p></p><p>I was dignosed with mental illness in 2002 (depression/anxiety) and with Bipolar in 2005. That also made things hard for her. Being the oldest I relied on her maybe more than I should have to help me with her siblings. </p><p></p><p>So, the guilt of possibly having a part in her headed down hill smarts too. I talked to her last night and she said she wanted to come see me but that she was out of gas. I didn't offer her gas money or to meet her at a gas station and fill up her car. Part of me wants to, to maybe keep her from robbing someone or stealing from a friend to have gas money. Part of me says "she is on her own". I love this child with all of my being. I feel like I have failed her.</p><p></p><p>Again thank you for all of your encouraging words and even the hard to hear advice. It is much appreciated.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Chaosuncontained, post: 457454, member: 11016"] Thank you all for your support and telling me your stories... it does help me. All of my friends and family try to talk to me but they haven't been there. If I hear "I'm so proud of you for doing this" I will scream. I know it is something I needed to do. But I'm not proud. I do not want a medal pinned to my chest because I had to turn my daughter in. It is THE worst thing I have done in my life--the hardest. And it hurts the most. What I worry and have nightmares about is I WANT her to be arrested. Then I will know she is out of danger. But I also know with two known robberies of houses (and the detective told me that there are several more reported around the same time, in the general area as one of them...that she is most likely involved in others) that she will be facing serious jail (prison) time. Plus the whole 'she is gonna hate me factor'. We are VERY close. She (obviously) tells me everything. Stuff with her jobs, boyfriends, friends, and her crimminal activities (here lately). She has lied a lot as a teen, rebelled enough to sneak out of her bedroom window, drank alcohol... she is a very stubborn person, who has very stong opinions. Her and her Father were very close when she was younger, up until we divorced and her was dating girls close to her age (he is married to a person 20 years his junior now). Now they barely stand one another. They are so much alike. Argumentitive, "always right" and stubborn as the day is long. She was our only child until she turned 10. We then had three kids within 5 years. Obviously, looking back now, she needed therapy. She felt displaced. I know these aren't EXCUSES for her behaviour but maybe insights or explanatiosn for PART of the reason she has done the things she has done. Drugs, alcohol, theft. I don't know. This is all new to me. I'm glad you all are here. I don't feel so alone in this anymore. I have 3 other bio kids. And 4 step kids that I have to care for--I can't imagine having to go through this again with one, two or more of the other kids. I do try to take care of me--but sometimes it feels like there just isn't enough of me to go around. We have all 7 kids this weekend. I know I will be kept busy, but the stress of this in my heart will make it that much harder. I was dignosed with mental illness in 2002 (depression/anxiety) and with Bipolar in 2005. That also made things hard for her. Being the oldest I relied on her maybe more than I should have to help me with her siblings. So, the guilt of possibly having a part in her headed down hill smarts too. I talked to her last night and she said she wanted to come see me but that she was out of gas. I didn't offer her gas money or to meet her at a gas station and fill up her car. Part of me wants to, to maybe keep her from robbing someone or stealing from a friend to have gas money. Part of me says "she is on her own". I love this child with all of my being. I feel like I have failed her. Again thank you for all of your encouraging words and even the hard to hear advice. It is much appreciated. [/QUOTE]
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I had to turn my 20 yr old into the Police, heartbroken...
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