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I hate to whine and vent but I dont have anyone else
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<blockquote data-quote="Signorina" data-source="post: 476942"><p>Dear Janet,</p><p> </p><p>I just reread your post and I think the best solution would be to just burn the house down. With or without Tony in it " that's up to you. You can hide out here. LOL (That's the Italian in me&#8230;wanted to give you a smile) <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p><p> </p><p>I am sorry I didn't respond yesterday, I was out all day and I couldn't type a heartfelt response on my phone without bungling it. And you have been so open; I really wanted to return the same type of warm and earnest response you've written to me and so many others.</p><p> </p><p>So, go ahead and whine. We've all been there. IIRC, both you and Tony are in pain this week " his tooth and your knee. Pain makes people stabby, myself included. Plus you guys have a whole lot on your plate. The new baby is a WONDERFUL blessing but even blessed life events create stress. Add the uncertainty regarding K, the cluttered living space, the upcoming holidays, kids your worry about and KABOOM.</p><p> </p><p>You have 3 sons and so do I. My dad was the youngest of 4 boys and the most important thing he advised me (when they were very little) was to resist the urge to become their referee. He said " once you go there " you will become the referee forever and it's a place you don't want to go. He was right. Except now it's the urge to referee between them and my H that's become a stumbling block. H will bristle at something one of them does (or doesn't do) and my internal mama bear will wake up from hibernation. </p><p></p><p>From reading your post, it sounds like you have become the mediator and communicator between Tony and Corey. Tony's acting like a brat, Corey's annoyed at the lack of communication " seems they both have valid annoyances " BUT THEY ARE MAKING IT YOUR PROBLEM. That's not fair. Do yourself a favor, and step out. Let them know it's between them and don't offer an opinion, a solution, or your $.02. They are big boys, Corey has kids of his own " they need to stop acting like little boys vying for mom's attention. I am sorry if I sound harsh, but if you don't step out " you will be their referee forever. And who wants that? Men have a way of understanding each other, you've get to let them find their own relationship especially if they will be working together. Women tend to stew over things; guys tend to say their piece and moved on. IME (family biz, 2 brothers) you will end up immersed in their bothers with each other " but they will leave you out of their good interaction. All of the agony and none of the fun&#8230; NO FAIR!</p><p> </p><p>You've gotten lots of good advice regarding solving the Thanksgiving and decluttering dilemma, so I will leave that alone.</p><p> </p><p>As for your inclination to look into a new apartment with better accessibility " I think it's a wonderful idea. I know you've posted that it's very difficult for you to get around and that you've had to give up things you enjoy because your home isn't accessible. I think you've handled the burden it's put on you with grace and dignity. At this point, it sounds as though it's your home that is holding you back from building a new lifestyle that will accommodate loss of mobility. I really think that you should seriously consider a fresh apartment that will be functional plus have other people around. You come across as very friendly and I am sure you must feel isolated at times. I know that having to rely on others for everyday needs must be trying and probably adds to your anxiety. Look into it for curiosity's sake. Get the facts, see some and see where it leads. Every journey starts with a first step. Maybe you can have two homes " or maybe you can get a 2 bedroom with plenty of space for you and Tony and Billy. Or maybe you will decide to stay put.</p><p> </p><p>I hope you woke up to a new day and things are looking brighter. We all have off days. I am having one myself today. I am isolating myself in my office until I can play nice.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Signorina, post: 476942"] Dear Janet, I just reread your post and I think the best solution would be to just burn the house down. With or without Tony in it " that's up to you. You can hide out here. LOL (That's the Italian in me…wanted to give you a smile) :-) I am sorry I didn't respond yesterday, I was out all day and I couldn't type a heartfelt response on my phone without bungling it. And you have been so open; I really wanted to return the same type of warm and earnest response you've written to me and so many others. So, go ahead and whine. We've all been there. IIRC, both you and Tony are in pain this week " his tooth and your knee. Pain makes people stabby, myself included. Plus you guys have a whole lot on your plate. The new baby is a WONDERFUL blessing but even blessed life events create stress. Add the uncertainty regarding K, the cluttered living space, the upcoming holidays, kids your worry about and KABOOM. You have 3 sons and so do I. My dad was the youngest of 4 boys and the most important thing he advised me (when they were very little) was to resist the urge to become their referee. He said " once you go there " you will become the referee forever and it's a place you don't want to go. He was right. Except now it's the urge to referee between them and my H that's become a stumbling block. H will bristle at something one of them does (or doesn't do) and my internal mama bear will wake up from hibernation. From reading your post, it sounds like you have become the mediator and communicator between Tony and Corey. Tony's acting like a brat, Corey's annoyed at the lack of communication " seems they both have valid annoyances " BUT THEY ARE MAKING IT YOUR PROBLEM. That's not fair. Do yourself a favor, and step out. Let them know it's between them and don't offer an opinion, a solution, or your $.02. They are big boys, Corey has kids of his own " they need to stop acting like little boys vying for mom's attention. I am sorry if I sound harsh, but if you don't step out " you will be their referee forever. And who wants that? Men have a way of understanding each other, you've get to let them find their own relationship especially if they will be working together. Women tend to stew over things; guys tend to say their piece and moved on. IME (family biz, 2 brothers) you will end up immersed in their bothers with each other " but they will leave you out of their good interaction. All of the agony and none of the fun… NO FAIR! You've gotten lots of good advice regarding solving the Thanksgiving and decluttering dilemma, so I will leave that alone. As for your inclination to look into a new apartment with better accessibility " I think it's a wonderful idea. I know you've posted that it's very difficult for you to get around and that you've had to give up things you enjoy because your home isn't accessible. I think you've handled the burden it's put on you with grace and dignity. At this point, it sounds as though it's your home that is holding you back from building a new lifestyle that will accommodate loss of mobility. I really think that you should seriously consider a fresh apartment that will be functional plus have other people around. You come across as very friendly and I am sure you must feel isolated at times. I know that having to rely on others for everyday needs must be trying and probably adds to your anxiety. Look into it for curiosity's sake. Get the facts, see some and see where it leads. Every journey starts with a first step. Maybe you can have two homes " or maybe you can get a 2 bedroom with plenty of space for you and Tony and Billy. Or maybe you will decide to stay put. I hope you woke up to a new day and things are looking brighter. We all have off days. I am having one myself today. I am isolating myself in my office until I can play nice. [/QUOTE]
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I hate to whine and vent but I dont have anyone else
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