I have a little problem

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by klmno, Mar 24, 2009.

  1. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Ok- in reality, I have several big problems, but then there is this little one, too. I can't look my therapist in the eye. But it isn't because I don't trust her or that I have a problem looking people in the eye or that I'm lieing. But she either wears contacts and has problems with them or her eyes twitch or she's falling asleep. LOL!! I don't know, but I don't know what to do about it.

    I've seen her several times now but the comfort level isn't all the way there yet. We've spent a lot of time talking about difficult child and his legal stuff, so we are still getting to know each other. She starts out asking a couple of times what has been going on the past week and how it's going. When I start telling her, I have to look away or she twitches her eyes and interrupts. Then, she'll prompt me to go on after I start again. Then at the end of the session, she says something about not getting to any other issues. I'm finding this a bit frustrating.

    The therapist I had a long time ago, to get to big issues, had personal experience herself along those lines and I KNEW she understood what I was talking about pretty early on. Not because I knew her history, but because she made it obvious by things she said that she really got it. I know I can't expect that from every therapist, and this one only takes appts in the mornings and early afternoons so I can't keep her long term anyway.

    So, what do I do?
  2. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    K-I can understand how this could be a problem. Do you like her? Do you feel like the comfort level could increase? I don't have a lot of experience but the first therapist I saw, I didn't care for and ended up only going a few times as I just didn't see a comfort level developing. The one I have now, we clicked right away and there was an immediate comfort level.
  3. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful


    You might want to think about looking for a new therapist. Sounds like you've given this lady a fair shake and it just isn't clicking. Happens.

    My first therapist had many similar life experiences as I had and we hit it off almost immediately. We'd have to watch the time because it was nothing to talk over that hour. lol She *got* it, so much so that I poured my heart out to her like I'd never done in my life. I made enormouse strides with her.

    therapist I went to several years back........I dunno, she was nice and pleasant. But she acted as if Life had never touched her. Know what I mean?? Turned out for some odd reason she wanted to dwell on my relationship with husband (which I'd already decided was pretty much over) instead of the issues that caused me to seek her out. I went about 8 times and said forget it.

    You need someone you feel comfortable with.

  4. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    Yep, change. I saw a therapist and she acted overwhelmed by my life. I am beginning to think I need a new one, but have not looked yet. Sometime we just don't click with people and its ok.
  5. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    get your therapist some dark sun glasses and some No-Doze - eesch -

    I think I'd have to tell her how I was feeling about her level of service. ESPECIALLY now that you've said her appts are in the morning/afternoon. Our therapist took his first appointment. at 8:00 Am and his last at 9:00 PM - occasionally a yawn or a nod didn't bother me - I just switched times. He was booked months in advance and had very little open. When I changed to 6 INSTEAD OF 8:00 - it was a lot better - but for Dude? We had him go at 11:00 in the AM. lol....figured the poor guy better be WIDE awake for that one.

    Hope you find a solution that works for you. :D
  6. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    LOL Star!! I do like her- I wasn't crazy about her at first but now find her a little easier to talk to. I think she started out trying different methods to "reach" me. I should have listed it on the Pet Peeve thread, but it makes me bananas when a therapist wants to tell you the problem instead of listening to me tell them why I'm there.

    Anyway, maybe the comfort level could grow over time, but as I mentioned, I don't see any way to work full time and continue to see her. I have an appointment today- in a few- and I'm not ready to bring this up yet. I'm going to talk about issues other than difficult child today- at least that's the plan- and I'm interested in seeing how this goes.

    Thanks for the replies!
  7. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    My feeling is that I should not only feel comfortable telling someone about myself and my life, but I should also enjoy and look forward to spending that hour with them. I should be able to enjoy a brief moment of idle conversation before I 'get into it' with them and I should feel that on some level they generally understand me.

    In order to feel all those things, the person I'm seeing should have a schedule that I can adapt to or that is accommodating to my needs and they must be open and pleasant and enough experience to be able to relate to at least a part of what I'm sharing, whether they have lived through it or not.

    I almost want to feel like I'm sitting down with a person close to me, yet not so close I feel awkward opening up. I need to have that sense that I can choose to never see this person again in my entire life if need be or spend another hour just gabbing (about me, of course!).

    Sounds to me like you're not completely dis-satisfied with this therapist, yet, you're not completely satisfied with her either; and scheduling will become an issue shortly. Time to start shopping around. Best of luck!