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Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
I have elected to tell my son to get treatment and be sober before we talk again.
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<blockquote data-quote="kennedyland" data-source="post: 590641" data-attributes="member: 16133"><p>To continue this drama......... I've had a minor "breakthrough". A few minutes ago (around 6 a.m.) my son sent me a text. This is the first communication from him since this started and he sent that insult-filled text a few weeks ago when I told him I would not talk with him or see him until he got treatment and got off drugs. The message read, and I'll paraphrase, "Why don't you apologize and admit you are wrong and that this is all your wife's (his stepmother's) idea. I'm afraid that if one of us dies this will ruin things for us. I can't sleep thinking about all of this." This is interesting for a variety of reasons. First of all, he's never up at six in the morning. Second, he's deflecting the problem and assigning blame to my wife. Third, he wants me to admit I'm the one in error so he can continue his lifestyle with both rationalization and justification that none of this is his problem. My wife and I are moving away in about two months, and I think that weighs on him. So what do I do next? I'm going to stand my ground and not see him until he gets treatment. Do I send a text as I do each week telling him I love him, miss him, and that I will see him once he's seriously in a treatment program and sober? Do I write a long letter? I do want to let him know that my wife is not the person who started any of this. Any suggestions? Clearly, he's deflecting and trying to resolve this without dealing with his problems. Any ideas are welcome.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="kennedyland, post: 590641, member: 16133"] To continue this drama......... I've had a minor "breakthrough". A few minutes ago (around 6 a.m.) my son sent me a text. This is the first communication from him since this started and he sent that insult-filled text a few weeks ago when I told him I would not talk with him or see him until he got treatment and got off drugs. The message read, and I'll paraphrase, "Why don't you apologize and admit you are wrong and that this is all your wife's (his stepmother's) idea. I'm afraid that if one of us dies this will ruin things for us. I can't sleep thinking about all of this." This is interesting for a variety of reasons. First of all, he's never up at six in the morning. Second, he's deflecting the problem and assigning blame to my wife. Third, he wants me to admit I'm the one in error so he can continue his lifestyle with both rationalization and justification that none of this is his problem. My wife and I are moving away in about two months, and I think that weighs on him. So what do I do next? I'm going to stand my ground and not see him until he gets treatment. Do I send a text as I do each week telling him I love him, miss him, and that I will see him once he's seriously in a treatment program and sober? Do I write a long letter? I do want to let him know that my wife is not the person who started any of this. Any suggestions? Clearly, he's deflecting and trying to resolve this without dealing with his problems. Any ideas are welcome. [/QUOTE]
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I have elected to tell my son to get treatment and be sober before we talk again.
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