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Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
I have elected to tell my son to get treatment and be sober before we talk again.
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<blockquote data-quote="Calamity Jane" data-source="post: 590859" data-attributes="member: 13882"><p>Yes, that certainly is emotional/verbal abuse. He is ratcheting it up because he wants you to rage at him, which will justify HIS abuse of you.</p><p>You can strike back, or you can say something like, "You're sick. You need help. We still love you and that will never change." He will be dumbfounded and confounded.</p><p>I know every cell in your body wants to tell him to jump in the lake, but that's just what this addiction wants you to do.</p><p> </p><p>It is very difficult to get past the nauseous feeling that you've been spoken to so horrifically by your son, even if it was "the drugs" talking. Yes, I would never imagine speaking to either of my parents that way, but we have not been in the throes of addiction, either. They sure know how to hurt us and push our buttons. In our situation, these vile episodes were followed by shame and guilt, self-hatred, even suicidal tendencies on the part of difficult child. Finally, difficult child got help, and it has taken us and him a long time to get past his truly inhuman behavior while on drugs. Rest assured, self hatred is your son's primary motivator right now.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Calamity Jane, post: 590859, member: 13882"] Yes, that certainly is emotional/verbal abuse. He is ratcheting it up because he wants you to rage at him, which will justify HIS abuse of you. You can strike back, or you can say something like, "You're sick. You need help. We still love you and that will never change." He will be dumbfounded and confounded. I know every cell in your body wants to tell him to jump in the lake, but that's just what this addiction wants you to do. It is very difficult to get past the nauseous feeling that you've been spoken to so horrifically by your son, even if it was "the drugs" talking. Yes, I would never imagine speaking to either of my parents that way, but we have not been in the throes of addiction, either. They sure know how to hurt us and push our buttons. In our situation, these vile episodes were followed by shame and guilt, self-hatred, even suicidal tendencies on the part of difficult child. Finally, difficult child got help, and it has taken us and him a long time to get past his truly inhuman behavior while on drugs. Rest assured, self hatred is your son's primary motivator right now. [/QUOTE]
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Substance Abuse
I have elected to tell my son to get treatment and be sober before we talk again.
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