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Substance Abuse
I have elected to tell my son to get treatment and be sober before we talk again.
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<blockquote data-quote="kennedyland" data-source="post: 592205" data-attributes="member: 16133"><p>A couple of questions to toss out there and to listen to your ideas. If you've been reading this thread, you know I came to a difficult decision about my son. His 13 years of drug use, of not taking responsibility for his life, of his moving from one awful apartment to the next awful apartment, of his mood swings (great guy - sarcastic bully - self-pity - and so on), his lack of washing, cleaning, and drifting from one awful job to the next got to me. I told him I wouldn't talk to or see him until he elected to get treatment and was working on being sober. So far I have stuck to my guns on all of this. His response has been to tell me a large number of insults, to tell me to just admit I'm wrong so we can go back to where things were, to condemning my wife, and on and on. I've responded with love but I have not backed down from my position. So my question is this - am I taking responsibility for myself by not caving into his drug use and demands, or am I trying to force a solution to a problem? My daughter won't respond to my emails or acknowledge gifts I gave her (she is pregnant and we gave her, her husband, and my grandson gifts), my ex wife pays for my son's health insurance and cell phone claiming it is not enabling, and I'm between a rock and a hard place. I feel if I talk to him now, with no concessions on his part, I will be going back to square one. On the other hand, am I doing a very non-ALANON thing by forcing a solution (having him take responsibility for his drug use) on this whole mess? Or, am I simply trying to stop playing into his world of drugs, lies, and irresponsible behavior? Your ideas are welcome.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="kennedyland, post: 592205, member: 16133"] A couple of questions to toss out there and to listen to your ideas. If you've been reading this thread, you know I came to a difficult decision about my son. His 13 years of drug use, of not taking responsibility for his life, of his moving from one awful apartment to the next awful apartment, of his mood swings (great guy - sarcastic bully - self-pity - and so on), his lack of washing, cleaning, and drifting from one awful job to the next got to me. I told him I wouldn't talk to or see him until he elected to get treatment and was working on being sober. So far I have stuck to my guns on all of this. His response has been to tell me a large number of insults, to tell me to just admit I'm wrong so we can go back to where things were, to condemning my wife, and on and on. I've responded with love but I have not backed down from my position. So my question is this - am I taking responsibility for myself by not caving into his drug use and demands, or am I trying to force a solution to a problem? My daughter won't respond to my emails or acknowledge gifts I gave her (she is pregnant and we gave her, her husband, and my grandson gifts), my ex wife pays for my son's health insurance and cell phone claiming it is not enabling, and I'm between a rock and a hard place. I feel if I talk to him now, with no concessions on his part, I will be going back to square one. On the other hand, am I doing a very non-ALANON thing by forcing a solution (having him take responsibility for his drug use) on this whole mess? Or, am I simply trying to stop playing into his world of drugs, lies, and irresponsible behavior? Your ideas are welcome. [/QUOTE]
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I have elected to tell my son to get treatment and be sober before we talk again.
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