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Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
I have elected to tell my son to get treatment and be sober before we talk again.
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 592221" data-attributes="member: 15801"><p>OK this is what I think. You need to listen to your heart and follow it. I would not worry about if you do this will he do this or think this..... it should not be a power struggle. You need to do what feels right to you.... fact is dealing with an addicted love one is pure hell and sometimes we change our thoughts and feelings as we get clarity.... so it is ok for you to change your direction if that is what feels right to you. It is also find to hold your ground.</p><p></p><p>My guess is the issues with your daughter are more than the specific issue with your son. I think if you can try to let her know you are thinking about her and would like to talk with her about what is going on between the two of you. It could be a lot of things.... possibly like Nancy mentioned issues around the divorce, possibly issues around your focus your son when she had needs to (I know this was an issue for my daughter).</p><p></p><p>FWIW I would continue to pay for health insurance for my son and pay his cell phone that is because it makes me feel better to know he can get health care and to stay in contact.... it was too hard for me when he had lost his phone and I had absolutely no way to contact him or to know where he was... when he was homeless. That was excrutiating and made it worth it to me to pay his cell phone.</p><p></p><p>Hang in there,</p><p></p><p>TL</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 592221, member: 15801"] OK this is what I think. You need to listen to your heart and follow it. I would not worry about if you do this will he do this or think this..... it should not be a power struggle. You need to do what feels right to you.... fact is dealing with an addicted love one is pure hell and sometimes we change our thoughts and feelings as we get clarity.... so it is ok for you to change your direction if that is what feels right to you. It is also find to hold your ground. My guess is the issues with your daughter are more than the specific issue with your son. I think if you can try to let her know you are thinking about her and would like to talk with her about what is going on between the two of you. It could be a lot of things.... possibly like Nancy mentioned issues around the divorce, possibly issues around your focus your son when she had needs to (I know this was an issue for my daughter). FWIW I would continue to pay for health insurance for my son and pay his cell phone that is because it makes me feel better to know he can get health care and to stay in contact.... it was too hard for me when he had lost his phone and I had absolutely no way to contact him or to know where he was... when he was homeless. That was excrutiating and made it worth it to me to pay his cell phone. Hang in there, TL [/QUOTE]
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I have elected to tell my son to get treatment and be sober before we talk again.
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