Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
I have elected to tell my son to get treatment and be sober before we talk again.
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Calamity Jane" data-source="post: 592847" data-attributes="member: 13882"><p>K,</p><p>I disagree, and it's just my opinion, please don't take this the wrong way.</p><p></p><p>IF the underlying reason you choose to decline contact with your son if he continues to use drugs is because declining that contact keeps you and your wife sane and away from the chaos and frustration that dealing with his issues has affected you, then you did the right thing. IF you declined to have contact with him to force his hand in some way, or if your expectation was that your daughter, etc. would support you, and your son would miraculously have an epiphany and change his life because he would choose to want Dad in his life more than he wants his lifestyle, then you set yourself up for failure.</p><p>You never really lost contact anyway; you never said you didn't love him, or want the best for him. You texted him loving, encouraging messages and you got vile responses in return. You didn't make it about control. You set a boundary because having his lifestyle consume you was simply going to ruin the both of you and your wife as well. I'm sure you didn't expect the rest of your family to rally 'round you suddenly and support your choice. They think they are doing the best for your son by enabling him - I think they just think they can keep him alive that way and they don't see any harm in it. They must think that he is too weak to change, and they don't want to turn their back on him. It's natural.</p><p>At the end of the day, you can implore that he get help, but if he chooses not to, you still have to weigh the pros and cons of continued contact with him if he doesn't get help. The drugs are his only concern - they are his God right now, and he will put that compulsion above anyone and everyone until he is either forced to change by incarceration, or if he is inclined to seek help on his own, or worse - if he loses his life to his addiction. </p><p>FWIW, I think you're a brave Dad, and I admire your strength.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Calamity Jane, post: 592847, member: 13882"] K, I disagree, and it's just my opinion, please don't take this the wrong way. IF the underlying reason you choose to decline contact with your son if he continues to use drugs is because declining that contact keeps you and your wife sane and away from the chaos and frustration that dealing with his issues has affected you, then you did the right thing. IF you declined to have contact with him to force his hand in some way, or if your expectation was that your daughter, etc. would support you, and your son would miraculously have an epiphany and change his life because he would choose to want Dad in his life more than he wants his lifestyle, then you set yourself up for failure. You never really lost contact anyway; you never said you didn't love him, or want the best for him. You texted him loving, encouraging messages and you got vile responses in return. You didn't make it about control. You set a boundary because having his lifestyle consume you was simply going to ruin the both of you and your wife as well. I'm sure you didn't expect the rest of your family to rally 'round you suddenly and support your choice. They think they are doing the best for your son by enabling him - I think they just think they can keep him alive that way and they don't see any harm in it. They must think that he is too weak to change, and they don't want to turn their back on him. It's natural. At the end of the day, you can implore that he get help, but if he chooses not to, you still have to weigh the pros and cons of continued contact with him if he doesn't get help. The drugs are his only concern - they are his God right now, and he will put that compulsion above anyone and everyone until he is either forced to change by incarceration, or if he is inclined to seek help on his own, or worse - if he loses his life to his addiction. FWIW, I think you're a brave Dad, and I admire your strength. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
I have elected to tell my son to get treatment and be sober before we talk again.
Top