Hang in there, Dara. I had loads of friends when difficult child flared up but even that didn't help when it came to someone understanding. I'd say something about difficult child being super strongwilled and my friend would jump right in there with her story about her strong willed child...which in comparison to her perfect child certainly seemed strong willed but was a cakewalk compared to my difficult child.
When I was going through the diagnositic stage and shortly after, I wanted so much for people to understand and then I realized they couldn't. They didn't live my life, they didn't see the whole picture of my difficult child, they didn't feel my pains. All they had to go on were their own parenting experiences which were totally different than mine. In time many of them have come around but it has taken a diagnosis, them seeing difficult child when he's flying his true colors, in contrast with the progress he's made because of the interventions he's had. I also have two other children who are turning out to be nice people without all the extra difficult child needs so they have some proof that it's not my parenting techniques that are totally at fault.
It's never easy when people criticize but you'll find your skin getting thicker when you have answers and a plan.
