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I have neither the time nor the energy to be this man's therapist
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<blockquote data-quote="gcvmom" data-source="post: 477815" data-attributes="member: 3444"><p>This is EXACTLY what I started telling him about 10 years ago (before he started medications, and before his surgery) because he was placing ALL his expectations for happiness on ME. Everything I did or didn't do for him was directly tied to his happiness (in his mind) and I finally decided enough and cut that cord when I told him I was NOT responsible for his happiness -- HE was. Of course, he took that to be a rejection and he STILL doesn't really, truly get it. Doesn't see that his way of doing things makes for a very sticky co-dependent mess that leaves me feeling miserable and him feeling (as usual) dissatisfied. I think in his head he still tells himself "I would be truly happy if only she would _____________." Doesn't really matter what you fill in that blank because it's placing the responsibility and outcome external to himself, which is doomed to failure and disappointment.</p><p></p><p>Well, it's Tuesday and I'm just going to focus on Tuesday, and this particular moment of Tuesday, because I cannot do a thing about later on until it gets here. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite11" alt=":rolleyes:" title="Roll Eyes :rolleyes:" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":rolleyes:" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="gcvmom, post: 477815, member: 3444"] This is EXACTLY what I started telling him about 10 years ago (before he started medications, and before his surgery) because he was placing ALL his expectations for happiness on ME. Everything I did or didn't do for him was directly tied to his happiness (in his mind) and I finally decided enough and cut that cord when I told him I was NOT responsible for his happiness -- HE was. Of course, he took that to be a rejection and he STILL doesn't really, truly get it. Doesn't see that his way of doing things makes for a very sticky co-dependent mess that leaves me feeling miserable and him feeling (as usual) dissatisfied. I think in his head he still tells himself "I would be truly happy if only she would _____________." Doesn't really matter what you fill in that blank because it's placing the responsibility and outcome external to himself, which is doomed to failure and disappointment. Well, it's Tuesday and I'm just going to focus on Tuesday, and this particular moment of Tuesday, because I cannot do a thing about later on until it gets here. :rolleye: [/QUOTE]
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I have neither the time nor the energy to be this man's therapist
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