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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 312821" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>There are homes for abused women and you are being abused. There is always a way out unless you put your own block up. Go ask a center for domestic abuse what your options are. You can't do anything about SO and his son and it isn't going to change. Domestic abuse shelters often find foster homes for pets while their people stay at the shelter. At our shelter there are animal lovers who will give your precious dog tons of care. I know where you are coming from as I love my dogs and would not leave them permanently. If you tell the state you live in, I can hook you up with a Lab rescue who may be happy to help you out short-term. Some domestic abuse shelters have their own list of people who care for animals while their people are in treatment and I believe you can visit the dogs. He's a beautiful dog!!!!</p><p></p><p>Put yourself on the waiting list for the shelter, even if it takes a long time, after making sure they won't make you give up Duke. Then find out about public housing. I think our public housing out here allows pets. Find out. Call social services...they can direct you to public housing. Check out nicer, non-dangerous trailer parks. They are cheap living, and most allow pets. Hub and I are thinking of moving to one when our kids are grown because it's friendly and we don't want to do the upkeep on a house anymore. And if they didn't allow pets, we wouldn't go! They can be incredibly cheap to rent. If you are handy, they can be really cheap to buy. Some do drug screening so you don't have a bad element in the park.</p><p></p><p>One thing I'd do is call CPS if his father is abusing him, but do it after you get out, not now. But to get emotionally involved in them...I wouldn't. Who cares if the kid plays videogames all day? It isn't your problem. I assume you plan to bolt as soon as you can. Why even deal with them? For now, until you can find another option (and I don't believe there are none...although I do believe you think there are none), I'd stay upstairs and read or watch telly, go to work during the day (if you don't have a job look for one or try to do enjoyable stuff alone) and join a support group. </p><p></p><p>If this man drinks, join Al-Anon. If he does drugs join Narc-Anon. You'll make friends who understand. Why say a word and bring this man's abuse on you? And, really, I understand how you lost it with the kid, but it's not your place or your responsibility to worry about his well being. You aren't going to be there for the long term and his father won't allow him to like you. And he clearly doesn't. Think about YOU, and YOUR needs and get help. There are, on top of domestic abuse shelters, county mental health centers who can help you. Heck, call your local humane society, tell them your situation and ask if they know of any reliable people to watch Duke. Heck, if you lived near me *I* would Duke and make sure he was treated like a king (as all my dogs are). I'm not the only doglover who empathizes with abused women and would help.</p><p></p><p>You shouldn't have to do this alone with only us as support. The situation sounds scary, maybe like this man could lash out and hurt you. Please save yourself from this mess, regardless of the situation. And try to leave. There has GOT to be a way. I mentioned several ways to make friends above. I hope you find friends in real time. (((Hugs)))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 312821, member: 1550"] There are homes for abused women and you are being abused. There is always a way out unless you put your own block up. Go ask a center for domestic abuse what your options are. You can't do anything about SO and his son and it isn't going to change. Domestic abuse shelters often find foster homes for pets while their people stay at the shelter. At our shelter there are animal lovers who will give your precious dog tons of care. I know where you are coming from as I love my dogs and would not leave them permanently. If you tell the state you live in, I can hook you up with a Lab rescue who may be happy to help you out short-term. Some domestic abuse shelters have their own list of people who care for animals while their people are in treatment and I believe you can visit the dogs. He's a beautiful dog!!!! Put yourself on the waiting list for the shelter, even if it takes a long time, after making sure they won't make you give up Duke. Then find out about public housing. I think our public housing out here allows pets. Find out. Call social services...they can direct you to public housing. Check out nicer, non-dangerous trailer parks. They are cheap living, and most allow pets. Hub and I are thinking of moving to one when our kids are grown because it's friendly and we don't want to do the upkeep on a house anymore. And if they didn't allow pets, we wouldn't go! They can be incredibly cheap to rent. If you are handy, they can be really cheap to buy. Some do drug screening so you don't have a bad element in the park. One thing I'd do is call CPS if his father is abusing him, but do it after you get out, not now. But to get emotionally involved in them...I wouldn't. Who cares if the kid plays videogames all day? It isn't your problem. I assume you plan to bolt as soon as you can. Why even deal with them? For now, until you can find another option (and I don't believe there are none...although I do believe you think there are none), I'd stay upstairs and read or watch telly, go to work during the day (if you don't have a job look for one or try to do enjoyable stuff alone) and join a support group. If this man drinks, join Al-Anon. If he does drugs join Narc-Anon. You'll make friends who understand. Why say a word and bring this man's abuse on you? And, really, I understand how you lost it with the kid, but it's not your place or your responsibility to worry about his well being. You aren't going to be there for the long term and his father won't allow him to like you. And he clearly doesn't. Think about YOU, and YOUR needs and get help. There are, on top of domestic abuse shelters, county mental health centers who can help you. Heck, call your local humane society, tell them your situation and ask if they know of any reliable people to watch Duke. Heck, if you lived near me *I* would Duke and make sure he was treated like a king (as all my dogs are). I'm not the only doglover who empathizes with abused women and would help. You shouldn't have to do this alone with only us as support. The situation sounds scary, maybe like this man could lash out and hurt you. Please save yourself from this mess, regardless of the situation. And try to leave. There has GOT to be a way. I mentioned several ways to make friends above. I hope you find friends in real time. (((Hugs))) [/QUOTE]
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