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I have probably lost my everlovin mind.
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<blockquote data-quote="Fran" data-source="post: 357961" data-attributes="member: 3"><p>I don't know Janet, I really don't like having my space invaded with my son back home.</p><p> It works because </p><p>A) no drugs, alcohol, partying,police or illegal anything </p><p>B) I give him assigned chores</p><p>C) no wife in my kitchen and </p><p>D) I have absolutely no expectation he will act differently. When he does, it's gravy but I am always surprised when he follows through. </p><p>E) There is very little voice raising around here. We disagree but yelling at me is not part of the deal. I can't live with that ever again</p><p>The funds he pays in rent and groceries are being saved for the day he has his own place. I don't want anything from my kids but to get out. LOL. </p><p></p><p>What makes you think he will clean up and help you clean up? Is their house an example of orderliness? How they live there is how they will live </p><p>in your home. </p><p></p><p>After understanding that more people make more mess, cost more, and create more chaos and tension and you want to help them</p><p>then go for it but I sure don't believe it's going to go smoothly. </p><p>Just remember the issue last week about the medication he was supposed to provide and him not following through. You won't be able </p><p>to go to your house and get away from difficult child ness. </p><p></p><p>I'm hoping that it will be a positive thing for Cory and for Tony and You. Maybe it will force your oldest to find his own place. LOL. </p><p>Thinking things through and having a plan will go a long way to avoiding problems. Like who takes care of meals? who cleans </p><p>toilets? who vacuums and how often? who goes grocery shopping and who makes the list? What if they don't like the groceries</p><p>you pick out with their grocery money? How do 2 adult couple resolve conflicts that are bound to come up? </p><p>What happens if something gets taken without permission? </p><p></p><p>Anyhow, that's how my brain works. I'm always looking for the goal and the plan to reach that goal. I hope this is a good thing for your family.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Fran, post: 357961, member: 3"] I don't know Janet, I really don't like having my space invaded with my son back home. It works because A) no drugs, alcohol, partying,police or illegal anything B) I give him assigned chores C) no wife in my kitchen and D) I have absolutely no expectation he will act differently. When he does, it's gravy but I am always surprised when he follows through. E) There is very little voice raising around here. We disagree but yelling at me is not part of the deal. I can't live with that ever again The funds he pays in rent and groceries are being saved for the day he has his own place. I don't want anything from my kids but to get out. LOL. What makes you think he will clean up and help you clean up? Is their house an example of orderliness? How they live there is how they will live in your home. After understanding that more people make more mess, cost more, and create more chaos and tension and you want to help them then go for it but I sure don't believe it's going to go smoothly. Just remember the issue last week about the medication he was supposed to provide and him not following through. You won't be able to go to your house and get away from difficult child ness. I'm hoping that it will be a positive thing for Cory and for Tony and You. Maybe it will force your oldest to find his own place. LOL. Thinking things through and having a plan will go a long way to avoiding problems. Like who takes care of meals? who cleans toilets? who vacuums and how often? who goes grocery shopping and who makes the list? What if they don't like the groceries you pick out with their grocery money? How do 2 adult couple resolve conflicts that are bound to come up? What happens if something gets taken without permission? Anyhow, that's how my brain works. I'm always looking for the goal and the plan to reach that goal. I hope this is a good thing for your family. [/QUOTE]
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