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I haven’t posted in a long time..
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 721616" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>I am so sorry you are going through all of this. Your son is clearly an addict. So much of what he is doing is stuff I have heard of and seen from people who are on meth at high levels for long periods. It really destroys the brain. Until he gets clean and stays clean, all the therapy and psychiatry in the world won't help him. You cannot figure out what is really going on with someone while they are using drugs. It is impossible to know what is the drugs and what is mental illness. Your son could be perfectly fine and just think these things because of all of the meth. Or he could be seriously mentally ill, there is no way to know.</p><p></p><p>You need to accept that he has used most of the money you have given him for drugs. Every penny you give him goes to support his habit. If you pay a bill, even if you pay it to the insurance company directly, that means he doesn't have to worry about it. More of his dollars to buy meth or other drugs with. How will you feel if your money buys the drugs that kill him? </p><p></p><p>I know that is harsh. I still remember hearing my own mother crying her heart out after a family session where she was asked a similar question. She was mostly supporting my brother at the time. It really changed some of her thinking. And mine. It isn't a question anyone can answer for you. It isn't something that you can or should answer to me. The answer is something you need to tell yourself and talk over with your husband. Then you should post the question near your phone and put it under his name on your phone. That way you might see it when he calls. </p><p></p><p>It is so hard when they call with those stories of being stalked or attacked and in imminent danger. Everything is wrong and it is life threatening and they need your help RIGHT NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW!!!!!!!!!</p><p></p><p>If he needs help that fast, he should hang up and call 911. Not you. You can do nothing for him to help keep him safe if his life is in that sort of danger. It would be absolutely idiotic and ridiculous for you to try. The police are trained to handle those life and death situations. You are a mom, with training to be a mom. Not to save someone, even someone you love, from a gang of crazed thugs who want to kill him. </p><p></p><p>If he absolutely MUST have money, tell him that you simply cannot do anything until day after tomorrow. Don't say "day after tomorrow" just pick the business day that is the day after tomorrow. Tell him that your credit card/debit card got damaged, or you paid the bill late and have to wait until it is processed. Tell him that you have to wait until payday. Whatever stalling tactic that seems reasonable is fine. Take the immediate nature out of the situation. Buy that time. Use that time to stop and think critically about what he told you. Is it logical? Reasonable and rational? If a stranger told you this, would you believe it? If you saw it in a movie, would it be ridiculous? Often what our difficult children tell us simply doesn't stand up to basic logic and critical thinking. A simple question or two and their lies fold like a house of cards. Their drug use and problems may not let them see it, but that isn't our problem, is it? </p><p></p><p>I am glad you have a therapist of your own. Keep seeing her if you like her. If you don't, find one that you do. It stinks that your son ended up with such an awful therapist. Sadly, many people are drawn to that profession because they have mental health problems. Then there is the fact that some of them have to be in the bottom 50th percentile. That therapist your son ended up with was loony tunes and in the bottom of the ranks quality wise, if you ask me. Or even if you don't ask me. Sometimes people are too idiotic to live. That therapist is. I hope she doesn't go out and look up at the sky while it rains. She probably couldn't figure out that she needed to keep her mouth shut and then she would drown. She is a Darwin Award waiting to happen.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 721616, member: 1233"] I am so sorry you are going through all of this. Your son is clearly an addict. So much of what he is doing is stuff I have heard of and seen from people who are on meth at high levels for long periods. It really destroys the brain. Until he gets clean and stays clean, all the therapy and psychiatry in the world won't help him. You cannot figure out what is really going on with someone while they are using drugs. It is impossible to know what is the drugs and what is mental illness. Your son could be perfectly fine and just think these things because of all of the meth. Or he could be seriously mentally ill, there is no way to know. You need to accept that he has used most of the money you have given him for drugs. Every penny you give him goes to support his habit. If you pay a bill, even if you pay it to the insurance company directly, that means he doesn't have to worry about it. More of his dollars to buy meth or other drugs with. How will you feel if your money buys the drugs that kill him? I know that is harsh. I still remember hearing my own mother crying her heart out after a family session where she was asked a similar question. She was mostly supporting my brother at the time. It really changed some of her thinking. And mine. It isn't a question anyone can answer for you. It isn't something that you can or should answer to me. The answer is something you need to tell yourself and talk over with your husband. Then you should post the question near your phone and put it under his name on your phone. That way you might see it when he calls. It is so hard when they call with those stories of being stalked or attacked and in imminent danger. Everything is wrong and it is life threatening and they need your help RIGHT NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW!!!!!!!!! If he needs help that fast, he should hang up and call 911. Not you. You can do nothing for him to help keep him safe if his life is in that sort of danger. It would be absolutely idiotic and ridiculous for you to try. The police are trained to handle those life and death situations. You are a mom, with training to be a mom. Not to save someone, even someone you love, from a gang of crazed thugs who want to kill him. If he absolutely MUST have money, tell him that you simply cannot do anything until day after tomorrow. Don't say "day after tomorrow" just pick the business day that is the day after tomorrow. Tell him that your credit card/debit card got damaged, or you paid the bill late and have to wait until it is processed. Tell him that you have to wait until payday. Whatever stalling tactic that seems reasonable is fine. Take the immediate nature out of the situation. Buy that time. Use that time to stop and think critically about what he told you. Is it logical? Reasonable and rational? If a stranger told you this, would you believe it? If you saw it in a movie, would it be ridiculous? Often what our difficult children tell us simply doesn't stand up to basic logic and critical thinking. A simple question or two and their lies fold like a house of cards. Their drug use and problems may not let them see it, but that isn't our problem, is it? I am glad you have a therapist of your own. Keep seeing her if you like her. If you don't, find one that you do. It stinks that your son ended up with such an awful therapist. Sadly, many people are drawn to that profession because they have mental health problems. Then there is the fact that some of them have to be in the bottom 50th percentile. That therapist your son ended up with was loony tunes and in the bottom of the ranks quality wise, if you ask me. Or even if you don't ask me. Sometimes people are too idiotic to live. That therapist is. I hope she doesn't go out and look up at the sky while it rains. She probably couldn't figure out that she needed to keep her mouth shut and then she would drown. She is a Darwin Award waiting to happen. [/QUOTE]
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