I just do not understand what has changed

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Star*, Jan 3, 2008.

  1. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    Beaners Mom -

    Is he in therapy? Does he have access to Medicaid? If so you can get Medicaid to come pick you up and take you to the appointments and pay for them too.

    I have no idea why he did well and then didn't other than the fact that he had someone NEW to entertain. Watch my tricks, see me, me, me?

    The stimulus of school may have had a part to do with it. He was just getting used to home, and then back to school. They don't adapt well to change.

    Hard to tell - If I had the answer to yours - MINE may be better off too. lol

  2. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    Sounds like he has tried to be good for quite awhile. Now, there is the stimulus of Christmas, New Years and back to school. It must be pretty hard for him to maintain.

    A lot of what he has been doing isn't all that over the top for a 5 YO, especially not a 5 YO who is hyperactive. Sneaking M&Ms may not be want you or your friends want, but it isn't all that surprising for a young one. Ditto on taking back gifts -- he's mad at Godmother, so takes back some of his love. As to hiding under the table when he has something he probably shouldn't have, again, not that over the top. The messing with other people's property is probably the biggest issue. It is something a kid would do. All of it is probably irritating to a couple of who don't have kids and hard for you since you want to stay on their good side.

    Living with your friends has got to be so hard on all of you. I'm sorry and hope you can find a way to get your own place soon.
  3. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    May I ask what it is he gave his Godparents for Christmas that he then tried to take back? I think it matters somewhat if what he gave them is something he himself would like.
  4. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I agree with meowbunny that most, if not all, of the behaviors you describe are kinda typical of a hyper five year old boy. Changes in schedules, and anticipation of changes in schedules, can reak havoc on our difficult children.

    I think that your friends have been exceedingly generous in opening their home to you. They may be feeling a little increased frustration and their acceptance levels are lowered. It is difficult to have others in your home, especially with a young child. I know that it must be difficult for you and you have to be feeling ready to go as well. I know I would be feeling more and more instrusive as time went by were I in your shoes.

    I'm sorry that Beaner's recent behaviors are causing problems with your friends. Just keep plugging on the job interviews and the housing and daycare assistance.


  5. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    Why would Godmother say she did not want to see him for one week??? And if Godfather was home he would be in more trouble???

    He is 5! I think that is a bit much to be saying to a 5 yo... these things last and stay in there heads, JMO... Maybe he has to much on him and he is rebelling, maybe he can feel all of the stress and it is building up? Maybe too much is expected of him?

    K is 6 1/2 and she would fall apart if someone said that to her... she also would never be able to live somewhere and not be able to not touch, it is part of her sensory issues... not whether she is good or bad. She tries so hard, but sometimes she can't help it.
    She even sneaks candy, and she really is a good kid!!! But sometimes she can't help it, she says her naughty hands just do it...
    He is a kid, and he has issues, and he is living in a stressful environment to boot!!!
    I am not saying that these people are not doing a wonderful thing... but please do not put too much on this little guy, because you will pay later on. and so will he.

    We can't expect these kids to be perfect... I am in no way saying he should be let off the hook for everything... but sometimes we all need to look at what we expect from our kids... and what they are capable of.
    I think you need a break and so does he... I am thinking of you and him... and hoping you can get one soon.
  6. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    I think it is a matter of too many "mommies" in the house.

    What is different now than before? THAT is not important, really. When you asked a few weeks ago about whether he could ever have a green day, I told you then that maybe the best he can do on a regular basis is yellow, and that THAT has to be okay with you. I think that he is being micromanaged, to tell the truth. Yes, he is in a home that has rules in it that are not yours. You and the godparents have got to come to some type of compromise. The poor kid does not have a chance to have a "good" day if he is not allowed to make a mistake. I am respectfully telling you this because I care and because you are under a ton of stress, and I KNOW this. I think you have too much stress on you, and you are putting too much stress on Beaner.

    Deep breaths and relax.
  7. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    I am sorry I know you are having a hard time!!! You are trying to find the answers and trying to fix things. Trying to do the right thing...
    It has to be hard on all of you...
    Don't give up hope... something will pan out. Remember to take a deep breath and let go of the anger... don't hold onto it. Beaner will feel it.
  8. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    Well we are here for you!!! Stay strong!!!
  9. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    Yea, I agree that many of these behaviors are one of a hyper, disjointed 5 year old - but perhaps not worthy of an adult telling a 5 year old they are not going to speak to them for a week. I do not know how old the god parents are, or if they have kids of their own, but they sound a bit old fashioned, and probably tired of just having the ruckus of a child in the house.

    I would try and not personalize this too much to Beaner, and his behavior, because it sounds like he is just acting on the existing tension in the house. I would rather realize that these people are just not capable of having a child in their house, and try and find a new place to reside.

    I know how hard it is. And we will be praying for you and sending you strength. Big hugs.
  10. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    I agree totally with-Willow.
    in my humble opinion he's ADHD, which would explain the acting b4 thinking issues he's been doing lately ... taking M&Ms, hiding under the table, etc. Those are pretty typical for a 5-yr-old, especially a hyperactive one. They really have no idea of their actions half the time.

    Best of luck. Try to be strong for him and yourself. The holidays are always hectic and stressful. Even fun can be stressful!
  11. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    I'm glad things are better.

    Now, to cure the board jinx, walk backwards in a circle 3 times then hop on one foot while singing the National Anthem.

    Oh, and, let me know if that works for you. :angel: