this is a whole lot. easy child's truly out of control, yelling each day, screaming at difficult child, stole things from her room while we were gone. her mattress, mirror, garbage pale, jewelry. the environment she is creating is horrifying for all of us. husband is also being difficult. i dont' know what the answer is. i knew coming back would be rough yet this is beyond my abilities. portland was far better and that was really hard. there is so much going on here with-all of them. i just wanna leave. i'm so tired of being the glue i am. easy child is just so incredibly angry. she knows she has me over a barrel because i don't want her to upset difficult child and blow up infront of her. so she prods me etc. i dont' even engage yet still she blows. i love her yet i'm not sure if i can continue living with her. sounds horrible i know. i dont' know what the answer is yet the thought of how many more years with her i dont' know if i can hack it. i get she's hurting over difficult child yet this isn't right. cursing yelling putting me down attacking difficult child verbally. nothing i say helps she just escalates higher. husband is so incredibly needy, our relationship has taken such a tole from this. the man was packing his bags last night. their sitting in the closet now. his new coping skill when mad at me to pack and say he's leaving. i told him if you really want to go than go. so unhealthy all of it. thank god the kids were sound asleep doors closed. yes they heard nothing. i gurantee it. yet how do i fix all these ppl, why is this my job? i just want to have a life at this point to some small extent. i keep telling myself just hold that head up it'll be ok you can do this. yet i'm getting to that point again and amazingly fast where i'm like somebody's gotta go. i dont' know who yet this isn't working.