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i just dont' know
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<blockquote data-quote="Jena" data-source="post: 405598" data-attributes="member: 4514"><p>thanks. i've had the day to calm down. driving is huge for me i love the open road. so the hr and a half there was a quiet one, difficult child set up the third row with her junk which was cute. easy child put her ipod on thank god.</p><p> </p><p>it is alot. and with-o supports of my own in place very challenging.</p><p> </p><p>easy child is angry, real angry about difficult child she's verbalizing more now when yelling. how difficult child doesn't have chores, she gets away with this that and the other. she doesn't really yet it's how she views it. she didn't have the chance to have a normal life due to difficult child. we all know the deal. yet life gave us this wonderfully complicated child who has challenged easy child and i to our very core for years together the 3 of us.</p><p> </p><p>therapy as i said will take place for easy child as soon as second half of pysch evaluation is complete and medications are in place. meanwhile her yelling venting etc.. yes i did tell her today either calm down or you lose basement because i had no choice. yet i gotta admit i get it i too feel cheated at times of my life due to difficult child. i love her yet we all know the life we lead due to our difficult child's its hard.</p><p> </p><p>difficult child i'm happy to say is pushing buttons and yes being her usual difficult child self at times yet she's eating. each meal. not completion yet enough to sustain the 106 lbs we are up to now. the medication is helping with her anxiety and also with-sleep as is the tshirt sprayed with my perfume. she yells at night yet after 15 min gives up. my door has been closed EACH NIGHT.</p><p> </p><p>husband well alot there. what guy does what he's done for this child with-o it being his own child? few would do it. i get that. fly across country for 1000k and help hold her down for a feeding tube for me than take 3 connecting flights back 3 days later becaues i wanted him for just another day. he's sweet, thoughtful the guy that sends a huge margarita glass full of flowers to a ronald mcdonald house for me. yet he's also a guy. if you know what i mean. he has some issues there, their personal with-o getting into detail and very needy in that way.</p><p> </p><p>if he doesn't "get it" he becomes upset feels unloved and is super needy in that area. we infact have an appointment on wed. for a therapist together. yet because difficult child is always here and we have zero time on his two days off due to having 4 kids home with-us. we gotta bring difficult child and leave her in the waiting room with-crayons. pathetic gotta bring a kid to a therapist's waiting room. OMG</p><p></p><p>a date night would be great. we used to have one yet due to the business failing hes' had to take on more hours we can't afford to keep up with payroll so we lost our one and only free night together. we survive off midnights' at this point and mon and wed after 4 kids are put in bed which usually settles down by 10:30. so its' very hard.</p><p> </p><p>i knew i was walking into alot. yet it hit me like a ton of bricks today. i just sit shaking my head. i feel alone in it because husband is always working. so it's like being a single parent all the time. than mon and wed is a hit like you wouldn't believe 3 little kids in a small house and a rough teen. so we're so caught up in hw, making dinner for 6 and than cleaning up, and board game with-them or wii by end of night i'm kinda spent.</p><p> </p><p>i didnt' forget about me. yet we didnt' have the money this week for me to join anything and i can't take an add out for a friend lol. wish i could for difficult child and me! we start church next week hopefully she'll meet a kid there. still working on getting team in. we had to peds in the a.m. to get her heart and blood pressure and weight checked also to get referral for the mri for her for the constant bed wetting.</p><p> </p><p>i gotta go dogs are running around. that's another issue going to try one more approach with-the big dog if it doesn't work i have to find a home for him. he's become too much. i love him yet it's too much. i gotta simplify as much as i can now i think.</p><p> </p><p>thx <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Jena, post: 405598, member: 4514"] thanks. i've had the day to calm down. driving is huge for me i love the open road. so the hr and a half there was a quiet one, difficult child set up the third row with her junk which was cute. easy child put her ipod on thank god. it is alot. and with-o supports of my own in place very challenging. easy child is angry, real angry about difficult child she's verbalizing more now when yelling. how difficult child doesn't have chores, she gets away with this that and the other. she doesn't really yet it's how she views it. she didn't have the chance to have a normal life due to difficult child. we all know the deal. yet life gave us this wonderfully complicated child who has challenged easy child and i to our very core for years together the 3 of us. therapy as i said will take place for easy child as soon as second half of pysch evaluation is complete and medications are in place. meanwhile her yelling venting etc.. yes i did tell her today either calm down or you lose basement because i had no choice. yet i gotta admit i get it i too feel cheated at times of my life due to difficult child. i love her yet we all know the life we lead due to our difficult child's its hard. difficult child i'm happy to say is pushing buttons and yes being her usual difficult child self at times yet she's eating. each meal. not completion yet enough to sustain the 106 lbs we are up to now. the medication is helping with her anxiety and also with-sleep as is the tshirt sprayed with my perfume. she yells at night yet after 15 min gives up. my door has been closed EACH NIGHT. husband well alot there. what guy does what he's done for this child with-o it being his own child? few would do it. i get that. fly across country for 1000k and help hold her down for a feeding tube for me than take 3 connecting flights back 3 days later becaues i wanted him for just another day. he's sweet, thoughtful the guy that sends a huge margarita glass full of flowers to a ronald mcdonald house for me. yet he's also a guy. if you know what i mean. he has some issues there, their personal with-o getting into detail and very needy in that way. if he doesn't "get it" he becomes upset feels unloved and is super needy in that area. we infact have an appointment on wed. for a therapist together. yet because difficult child is always here and we have zero time on his two days off due to having 4 kids home with-us. we gotta bring difficult child and leave her in the waiting room with-crayons. pathetic gotta bring a kid to a therapist's waiting room. OMG a date night would be great. we used to have one yet due to the business failing hes' had to take on more hours we can't afford to keep up with payroll so we lost our one and only free night together. we survive off midnights' at this point and mon and wed after 4 kids are put in bed which usually settles down by 10:30. so its' very hard. i knew i was walking into alot. yet it hit me like a ton of bricks today. i just sit shaking my head. i feel alone in it because husband is always working. so it's like being a single parent all the time. than mon and wed is a hit like you wouldn't believe 3 little kids in a small house and a rough teen. so we're so caught up in hw, making dinner for 6 and than cleaning up, and board game with-them or wii by end of night i'm kinda spent. i didnt' forget about me. yet we didnt' have the money this week for me to join anything and i can't take an add out for a friend lol. wish i could for difficult child and me! we start church next week hopefully she'll meet a kid there. still working on getting team in. we had to peds in the a.m. to get her heart and blood pressure and weight checked also to get referral for the mri for her for the constant bed wetting. i gotta go dogs are running around. that's another issue going to try one more approach with-the big dog if it doesn't work i have to find a home for him. he's become too much. i love him yet it's too much. i gotta simplify as much as i can now i think. thx :) [/QUOTE]
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