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I completely identify with your post. My thoughts, fears and nightmares have to do with death. More specifically my daughter's. I jump when the phone rings and when I can't get ahold of her on the phone I immediately picture her lying cold somewhere with no one who cares. I think we need to face our fears and why we feel that way. At an Alanon meeting a mother of an older addict said that she found solace by reading books by parents whose children did die from their lifestyle and she came face to face with the author's death of a child and found that parents do go on. Carrol O'Conner's book, Nancy Spungen's mother's book, etc. it has helped me face my fear of the possibility of my daughter's death.


On the other hand, addicts are frequently "survivors" and they will be okay no matter what havoc they wreck in their lives and ours. I have to say that your post struck a nerve with me and made me re-evaluate how I handle our precarious situation and I thank you for that.


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