Grace,
Don't apologize for your post. Drug addiction is an ugly monster to live and deal with, if I can help somebody here, then that makes me feel good. If I was having a sad day, I wouldn't be here.
As antsmom said, I wont judge you whatever you decide. I do agree that keeping him comfy wont help him face what his life has become with drugs and he likely wont be motivated to quit.
We had Alex at home because we couldn't legally kick him out due to his age.
Being homeless and roaming the streets is not what any of us have in mind for our kids. But if he wants the warm comforts of home, he has to get off the drugs. Keep your daughter in mind. You don't want her growing up in a house where her big brother is using drugs. Especially heroin, he is not setting a good example. And at one point, he might end up stealing all of his baby sisters possesions to get drugs. (worse case scenario)
If you think he is clean, then that is different, but you said you suspected he has used.
It is good that he is working at a job and following your rules.
Sorry to give advice when you said you weren't actually asking for it. Keep your own sanity in mind and your marriage, and that of his sister.
Please look into the NA and FA meetings. Please take care of yourself and your family. Don't ignore those who need you by concentrating all of your energy on your son.
I will be thinking of you.
