Another who totally understands. Judi, your thoughts hit the nail on the head for me too - unconditional love, being afraid of where your son will end up, and putting on a happy face to the outside world. Those are feelings I lived with while my difficult child was drugging. Even though he's doing better (knock on wood), it's something I will never forget.
For my son, the law stepped in and tried him as an adult at barely 17. That was enough to shake him up. He spent 5 days in an adult jail, threatened for his food each day, and terrified to sleep.
We basically "forced the issue" of a dual-diagnostic Residential Treatment Center (RTC), and were fortunate that by the time the trial came up, the judge opted to let him stay where he was to get help, rather than to send him back to the adult jail for a year to punish. By the time my son entered the Residential Treatment Center (RTC), he was open to getting help and turning things around, but we definitely "nudged" him. lol
When he did get out of the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) after 10 months of being clean, he relapsed for one weekend about a month after being home. He called and asked us to pick him up, and as far as I know, he's never drugged again. He said it "wasn't fun anymore; it was just scary". That was hopefully the end of the drugging for him forever.
We can all support each other, and offer suggestions, but each child and situation is so different, that there really isn't a "one size fits all". So just know that we're here for you, and hoping that he turns things around.
Sending gentle hugs,
Deb
