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<blockquote data-quote="klmno" data-source="post: 402348" data-attributes="member: 3699"><p>Kids in Department of Juvenile Justice cheek their medications all the time. difficult child was doing that in 6th grade at home. Then, in Department of Juvenile Justice, they trade them for things. Funny how the kids who have them rx'd don't want to take them but the kids who have never been rx'd that particular medication wants it. Yes, difficult child was worried that if he told his therapist he could end up in big trouble. All I know is that the pastor who spent a good deal of time talking to difficult child while he was in juvy awaiting trial and transfer to Department of Juvenile Justice and who called me a couple of times told me that I needed to make sure difficult child knew that he had to be VERY careful which staff he trusted in Department of Juvenile Justice, and that included any therapist. It isn't just a matter of justifiable punishment, apparently. I met the therapist difficult child had while incarcerated before but I have never even spoken to this one. (Remember the last one bought everything he said, ignored everything I said, and just thought the whole problem could be solved if I let difficult child do what he wanted when he came home and just had a rewards/consequences behavior plan in place? For a kid who refused to even comply with parole requirements? And any time I suggested to her that I was pretty sure the problem went a little deeper than that, she responded like it was just my anxiety making me think that.) For that reason, I am a little skeptical to encourage difficult child to trust this one and have full faith in him as a "good" therapist. difficult child is awaiting admittance into the substance abuse unit where he'll go thru a program there. I almost think he'd be better off to wait until he has access to a substance abuse therapist. I am mulling all this over. I do understand the importance of owning up to what he's done and getting a GOOD therapist helping him but I have not been impressed with any therapist involved in the juvy system so far. I was impressed with the psychiatric who directed the MH in the last facility but she was not doing counseling. I'm considering suggesting that difficult child talk to the pastor there and get some advice about how to handle all this. That doesn't mean it would be in place of a therapist, but just to get some help pointing him in the right direction as far as where to go from here. I don't think difficult child has fully disclosed everything to me. I knew he had gotten several charges while in this facility but in this letter he insinuated that this last one was for taking someone else's medication. If that's the case, then I don't see what he has to hide from a therapist or anyone else- they already know and he's paid the price, right?</p><p></p><p>No, I definitely don't think all he wrote in that letter was all he'd ever done wrong. But honestly, I don't care if he ever confesses everything to me. I think he's of an age where he needs to deal with that himself. I'm a whole lot more concerned about what he does with his life with here on out, not what he's done in the past. But I agree, he's still testing waters with me and thinking this is going to be easier than it really is. He's got stinking thinking, that's obvious. He jumped from saying maybe he was just a compulsive liar to rambling all over the place. He also said he was writing the letter all thru the night while on aderral in lock for a punishment. </p><p></p><p>I think I just need to keep trying to establish a healthy detachment and enforcing that as much as I love him and want what is best for him, he's old enough now to understand where his choices are going to lead him, good or bad, and I will constantly remind him that I KNOW I can no longer control what he does or doesn't do like I could when he was in elementary school. He's in control of his future at this point, not me. Now, if i could just get the courts people to accept that I shouldn't be held legally and financially accountable for a kid I have no control over everything would be on the same page. Otherwise, difficult child will continue to do whatever he wants knowing that Mom has no choice but to be there and foot the bill and pay any restitution. Thus, my BIG desire for emancipation.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="klmno, post: 402348, member: 3699"] Kids in Department of Juvenile Justice cheek their medications all the time. difficult child was doing that in 6th grade at home. Then, in Department of Juvenile Justice, they trade them for things. Funny how the kids who have them rx'd don't want to take them but the kids who have never been rx'd that particular medication wants it. Yes, difficult child was worried that if he told his therapist he could end up in big trouble. All I know is that the pastor who spent a good deal of time talking to difficult child while he was in juvy awaiting trial and transfer to Department of Juvenile Justice and who called me a couple of times told me that I needed to make sure difficult child knew that he had to be VERY careful which staff he trusted in Department of Juvenile Justice, and that included any therapist. It isn't just a matter of justifiable punishment, apparently. I met the therapist difficult child had while incarcerated before but I have never even spoken to this one. (Remember the last one bought everything he said, ignored everything I said, and just thought the whole problem could be solved if I let difficult child do what he wanted when he came home and just had a rewards/consequences behavior plan in place? For a kid who refused to even comply with parole requirements? And any time I suggested to her that I was pretty sure the problem went a little deeper than that, she responded like it was just my anxiety making me think that.) For that reason, I am a little skeptical to encourage difficult child to trust this one and have full faith in him as a "good" therapist. difficult child is awaiting admittance into the substance abuse unit where he'll go thru a program there. I almost think he'd be better off to wait until he has access to a substance abuse therapist. I am mulling all this over. I do understand the importance of owning up to what he's done and getting a GOOD therapist helping him but I have not been impressed with any therapist involved in the juvy system so far. I was impressed with the psychiatric who directed the MH in the last facility but she was not doing counseling. I'm considering suggesting that difficult child talk to the pastor there and get some advice about how to handle all this. That doesn't mean it would be in place of a therapist, but just to get some help pointing him in the right direction as far as where to go from here. I don't think difficult child has fully disclosed everything to me. I knew he had gotten several charges while in this facility but in this letter he insinuated that this last one was for taking someone else's medication. If that's the case, then I don't see what he has to hide from a therapist or anyone else- they already know and he's paid the price, right? No, I definitely don't think all he wrote in that letter was all he'd ever done wrong. But honestly, I don't care if he ever confesses everything to me. I think he's of an age where he needs to deal with that himself. I'm a whole lot more concerned about what he does with his life with here on out, not what he's done in the past. But I agree, he's still testing waters with me and thinking this is going to be easier than it really is. He's got stinking thinking, that's obvious. He jumped from saying maybe he was just a compulsive liar to rambling all over the place. He also said he was writing the letter all thru the night while on aderral in lock for a punishment. I think I just need to keep trying to establish a healthy detachment and enforcing that as much as I love him and want what is best for him, he's old enough now to understand where his choices are going to lead him, good or bad, and I will constantly remind him that I KNOW I can no longer control what he does or doesn't do like I could when he was in elementary school. He's in control of his future at this point, not me. Now, if i could just get the courts people to accept that I shouldn't be held legally and financially accountable for a kid I have no control over everything would be on the same page. Otherwise, difficult child will continue to do whatever he wants knowing that Mom has no choice but to be there and foot the bill and pay any restitution. Thus, my BIG desire for emancipation. [/QUOTE]
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