Don't worry about it Esri, we're human we're supposed to keep self correcting. This is new territory for you and you were sort of thrown under the bus about it, so give yourself a break. Next time you talk to her you can just say, "I'm in a huge learning curve here going from mom who took care of everything to your mother who is out of the loop and it's taking me some time to figure out this new landscape. Bear with me. I'll get it."
Then practice letting go. Give some time between each interaction. Allow her to come to you, instead of you tracking her down with what she is likely to see as judgement and control.
I am in a similar position with my 18 year old granddaughter whom I raised........letting go of her a little each day. She didn't cut the cord so sharply, but she is distancing herself as she readies herself for leaving for college in 5 weeks. I have to practice letting go every day. And, to coin a phrase from here, "sitting on my lips." Practice sitting on your lips and allow her to move towards you when she is ready to do that. Allow her to miss you and want to share with you. I think the more you are able to do that, the quicker you two will develop a new relationship based on being more equal..........she wants to be an adult now..........she wants to launch...............let her.............
In the meantime, focus on you and what it is you like to do. Nurture YOU. Nourish YOU. Do fun things you did before you had any kids. Look around Esri, there's a whole world out there waiting to show you around, go grab it!
