Esri, I agree with RE. Be gentle with yourself. It sounds like you and your daughter have been very tightly interwoven for a long, long time.
It is going to take you some time to really let go of her and learn how to have a new relationship.
I am encouraged by the conversation you shared. It sounds like she is setting a boundary with you and you are pushing against it a bit (and that is normal and natural at first) and she is sticking to that boundary, but is not being mean or hateful about it.
I think that is a good sign for your relationship down the road.
Filling your life with things that you like to do, are interested in, new friends, new hobbies and activities---is the very best thing you can do, starting today, to prepare for a new relationship with your daughter.
You have done your job and your daughter is launched. Remember, that is our job as moms.
Now, it's time for YOU.
As you learn this new way of living, you are going to make mistakes in the new relationship, and so will your daughter. As you work on yourself, and your priorities start to shift, you can offer compassion for her as you show compassion for yourself more and more.
This is YOUR TIME. Start finding out who you are. If you need therapy, go ahead and schedule that. Buy yourself flowers, take a walk, read a book, take a nap, take a painting class, call a friend for coffee. Fill your day with fun and nice things.
You're going to be just fine.
