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I know I shouldn't feel guilty
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<blockquote data-quote="Exhausted and alone" data-source="post: 711264" data-attributes="member: 21713"><p>A follow up to my post on Sunday....a bit late but I had a lot of marking!</p><p></p><p>So with a heavy heart I went to court again on Monday to let Duty Counsel and the Judge know that I was not going to bail my son out of this trouble he got himself into. I talked to the Duty Counsel and let him know that my son was developmentally challenged with significant mental illness. He looked at me and asked why this wasn't discussed before the court on Sunday. I told him that the Duty Counsel on Sunday was told about these issues but nothing was said to the judge except the need for surety and a place for him to reside. On Monday, when the Court finally got underway, my son was the second person to be brought in. The Crown Attorney read out the charges and then told the Judge his mother couldn't allow him to live at her home. Then the Duty Counsel spoke to the judge about my son's disabilities and his "limited intellect and understanding". The judge was visibly disturbed by this information and told the court that he did want to impose a surety and he certainly did not want him in a jail any longer than was necessary to find him a treatment/crisis bed. He ordered his clerk to page a Mental Heath worker to the court so they could speak to me. I nearly cried. I was told I could wait outside in the lobby so I left the courtroom. But before I was able to leave, I felt the angry glare my son shot in my direction. I know that he was furious about his disabilities being exposed in a public forum but I know that this exposure was the beginning of real help for him and all that I had hoped for. After a 45 min wait in the lobby, the Mental Health worker arrived and spoke first to the Duty Counsel and the Crown. He then told me that my son was not a candidate for his program but he had someone who would be able to provide a better service for him. He introduced me to a woman who was both kind and understanding and spent a great deal of time asking questions and really listening to me. She told me that she was a court appointed advocate and Case Manager for dual diagnosis adults who have found themselves in trouble with the law. She promised me that she would work with the existing services I have already put into place for my son and that from this point forward, her agency and the Developmental Services would be taking over his care. She told me that I had done a great job with him but that the system had let us both down. She promised that she would make sure my son agreed to work with her and that if a crisis bed was not available for a few days, she would ensure he was placed in a special safe unit in the jail. She promised to stay in touch with me over the next week and that I would be invited to planning meetings with both agencies when Transitional and Supervised housing along with treatment programs are being discussed. She assured me that I would not be expected to be his caregiver and if I wanted to step out of the role of "Trustee", we could work on that at a later time. I am so ready to give this up!</p><p>I left the courthouse with a sense of hope and cautious optimism. I also felt like I could breath again....the heaviness in my chest was disappearing. </p><p>Tomorrow I will speak to the Social Worker assigned to my son's case while he is in the Specialized Unit. I sincerely hope she is on the same page as the Case Manager from the Dual Diagnosis Agency. I am resolved to insisting the system do their job without me. I am done.</p><p></p><p>Once again, thank you to everyone who offered such kind and supportive words....it truly meant the world to me.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Exhausted and alone, post: 711264, member: 21713"] A follow up to my post on Sunday....a bit late but I had a lot of marking! So with a heavy heart I went to court again on Monday to let Duty Counsel and the Judge know that I was not going to bail my son out of this trouble he got himself into. I talked to the Duty Counsel and let him know that my son was developmentally challenged with significant mental illness. He looked at me and asked why this wasn't discussed before the court on Sunday. I told him that the Duty Counsel on Sunday was told about these issues but nothing was said to the judge except the need for surety and a place for him to reside. On Monday, when the Court finally got underway, my son was the second person to be brought in. The Crown Attorney read out the charges and then told the Judge his mother couldn't allow him to live at her home. Then the Duty Counsel spoke to the judge about my son's disabilities and his "limited intellect and understanding". The judge was visibly disturbed by this information and told the court that he did want to impose a surety and he certainly did not want him in a jail any longer than was necessary to find him a treatment/crisis bed. He ordered his clerk to page a Mental Heath worker to the court so they could speak to me. I nearly cried. I was told I could wait outside in the lobby so I left the courtroom. But before I was able to leave, I felt the angry glare my son shot in my direction. I know that he was furious about his disabilities being exposed in a public forum but I know that this exposure was the beginning of real help for him and all that I had hoped for. After a 45 min wait in the lobby, the Mental Health worker arrived and spoke first to the Duty Counsel and the Crown. He then told me that my son was not a candidate for his program but he had someone who would be able to provide a better service for him. He introduced me to a woman who was both kind and understanding and spent a great deal of time asking questions and really listening to me. She told me that she was a court appointed advocate and Case Manager for dual diagnosis adults who have found themselves in trouble with the law. She promised me that she would work with the existing services I have already put into place for my son and that from this point forward, her agency and the Developmental Services would be taking over his care. She told me that I had done a great job with him but that the system had let us both down. She promised that she would make sure my son agreed to work with her and that if a crisis bed was not available for a few days, she would ensure he was placed in a special safe unit in the jail. She promised to stay in touch with me over the next week and that I would be invited to planning meetings with both agencies when Transitional and Supervised housing along with treatment programs are being discussed. She assured me that I would not be expected to be his caregiver and if I wanted to step out of the role of "Trustee", we could work on that at a later time. I am so ready to give this up! I left the courthouse with a sense of hope and cautious optimism. I also felt like I could breath again....the heaviness in my chest was disappearing. Tomorrow I will speak to the Social Worker assigned to my son's case while he is in the Specialized Unit. I sincerely hope she is on the same page as the Case Manager from the Dual Diagnosis Agency. I am resolved to insisting the system do their job without me. I am done. Once again, thank you to everyone who offered such kind and supportive words....it truly meant the world to me. [/QUOTE]
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