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I know I shouldn't feel guilty
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<blockquote data-quote="Exhausted and alone" data-source="post: 711601" data-attributes="member: 21713"><p>Thank you! I am definitely stronger today than I was last week! There appears to be a concerted effort by the Mental Health professionals and those who work with Developmentally Challenged adults to find a much more appropriate living environment for my son. If I had any qualms about whether I was doing the right thing by backing away and letting the system do what it should have done years ago, it all disappeared on Saturday when my husband and I were finally granted permission to enter his former apartment to get his things packed and moved out. We had prepared ourselves for a messy, chaotic and slightly dirty space but the filth and disgusting situation we walked into was overwhelming to say the least. He had refused to allow anyone of us in there for the last few years although he was telling each of us (family, social workers) that the other had been there. He refused to sign a release of information consent form so any dialogue between myself and his workers was very limited. We were barely able to salvage much other than some clothes, persoanal items, electronics and a few musical instruments. We spent 8 hours sifting through the mess and in the end we just had to throw away most of it. 25 industrial bags of garbage and there is more which the landlord will finish up. They were very appreciative of all we did and assured us that they would let us know if they found anything of value in the final cleanup. As we loaded the few items we had salvaged into a storage locker, both of us looked at each other and said, " never again". We have literally cleaned up after him for the last time.</p><p>Yesterday morning, I was informed that a private room has become available in a full service supervised home for Developmentally Challenged adults. It sounds wonderful and his one to one worker said it is clean, bright, and run by people who truly care about the clientele. All services are provided: housekeeping, laundry, meals and even some recreational activities! She said that my son has to agree to it and then he can be released from the locked psychiatric unit. I am hoping he is able to understand what a great opportunity this is for him because he has no other alternative at this point. I have waited nearly 12 years for this type of housing for him and it has taken this crisis to make it to the top of the list!</p><p>I have not spoken to him and he has not tried to call, I want him to feel that he needs to rely on the professionals who are there to help him right now and that mom can't and won't rescue him this time. I know I could have refused to even go to the apartment but I am glad that I did. Besides saving items that will have sentimental and monetary value to him, it cemented my belief that he is entirely incapable of taking care of himself in an independent living situation.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Exhausted and alone, post: 711601, member: 21713"] Thank you! I am definitely stronger today than I was last week! There appears to be a concerted effort by the Mental Health professionals and those who work with Developmentally Challenged adults to find a much more appropriate living environment for my son. If I had any qualms about whether I was doing the right thing by backing away and letting the system do what it should have done years ago, it all disappeared on Saturday when my husband and I were finally granted permission to enter his former apartment to get his things packed and moved out. We had prepared ourselves for a messy, chaotic and slightly dirty space but the filth and disgusting situation we walked into was overwhelming to say the least. He had refused to allow anyone of us in there for the last few years although he was telling each of us (family, social workers) that the other had been there. He refused to sign a release of information consent form so any dialogue between myself and his workers was very limited. We were barely able to salvage much other than some clothes, persoanal items, electronics and a few musical instruments. We spent 8 hours sifting through the mess and in the end we just had to throw away most of it. 25 industrial bags of garbage and there is more which the landlord will finish up. They were very appreciative of all we did and assured us that they would let us know if they found anything of value in the final cleanup. As we loaded the few items we had salvaged into a storage locker, both of us looked at each other and said, " never again". We have literally cleaned up after him for the last time. Yesterday morning, I was informed that a private room has become available in a full service supervised home for Developmentally Challenged adults. It sounds wonderful and his one to one worker said it is clean, bright, and run by people who truly care about the clientele. All services are provided: housekeeping, laundry, meals and even some recreational activities! She said that my son has to agree to it and then he can be released from the locked psychiatric unit. I am hoping he is able to understand what a great opportunity this is for him because he has no other alternative at this point. I have waited nearly 12 years for this type of housing for him and it has taken this crisis to make it to the top of the list! I have not spoken to him and he has not tried to call, I want him to feel that he needs to rely on the professionals who are there to help him right now and that mom can't and won't rescue him this time. I know I could have refused to even go to the apartment but I am glad that I did. Besides saving items that will have sentimental and monetary value to him, it cemented my belief that he is entirely incapable of taking care of himself in an independent living situation. [/QUOTE]
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