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I know I've done the right thing but it hurts so much!!
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<blockquote data-quote="donna723" data-source="post: 411765" data-attributes="member: 1883"><p>You did exactly the right thing! Just please stick to your guns and don't let him come back!</p><p> </p><p>You don't say exactly how old your son is (unless I missed it) but your situation sounds very much like that of a friend of mine. With her, this has been going on since her son was a teenager ... he is now <u><em>40</em></u> and she's <u><em>67</em></u>! In her case, she's been divorced for years and her son has an eight year old little boy that she has been supporting since he was born, but the rest is the same. He started on alcohol and drugs when he was a teenager, constantly in trouble when he was in school and in trouble with the law, but he finally finished. This has been going on for almost thirty years with her, yet until very recently she continued to enable him. She should have taken action to put a stop to it years ago but she felt that she needed to be there for him and support him because she was his mother and that's what mothers do! And now she is terrified of him and seems helpless to do anything about it! He lives with her in her house whether she wants him to or not! He is both verbally and physically abusive to her. He has bullied, harassed, threatened and intimidated her for years and she feels helpless to stop him. He can't hold a job and blames it on her because he doesn't have a license and refuses to ride the bus. He has a long police record for theft, traffic offences, DUI and drug charges and spent some time in a state prison. He takes her car when ever he feels like it, steals money from her purse, and has taken her ATM card and cleaned out her bank account more than once. And still she hasn't pressed charges on him ... because he's her son, and because she is so afraid of him. She's even spent thousands of dollars on lawyers for him because she thinks she needs to because she's his mother! And just a few days ago he was raging at her, put his hands around her neck and tried to strangle her! She managed to get away from him (she's 67, remember?) and ran to a neighbor's house and the neighbor called 911. Even then she probably wouldn't have pressed charges against him but because of the obvious marks and bruises on her neck the police arrested him and charged him with abuse of an elderly person. He was supposed to be held without bond this time but now somehow he's out of jail and she's terrified that he will show up at her house again!</p><p> </p><p>I told you all of that because THIS is what happens when these situations are allowed to continue, when the parent continues to enable the "child" instead of putting a stop to it! It happens more often than you think. PLEASE stand strong, stop enabling him, hold him accountable for his actions, and don't let this be you in a few years!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="donna723, post: 411765, member: 1883"] You did exactly the right thing! Just please stick to your guns and don't let him come back! You don't say exactly how old your son is (unless I missed it) but your situation sounds very much like that of a friend of mine. With her, this has been going on since her son was a teenager ... he is now [U][I]40[/I][/U] and she's [U][I]67[/I][/U]! In her case, she's been divorced for years and her son has an eight year old little boy that she has been supporting since he was born, but the rest is the same. He started on alcohol and drugs when he was a teenager, constantly in trouble when he was in school and in trouble with the law, but he finally finished. This has been going on for almost thirty years with her, yet until very recently she continued to enable him. She should have taken action to put a stop to it years ago but she felt that she needed to be there for him and support him because she was his mother and that's what mothers do! And now she is terrified of him and seems helpless to do anything about it! He lives with her in her house whether she wants him to or not! He is both verbally and physically abusive to her. He has bullied, harassed, threatened and intimidated her for years and she feels helpless to stop him. He can't hold a job and blames it on her because he doesn't have a license and refuses to ride the bus. He has a long police record for theft, traffic offences, DUI and drug charges and spent some time in a state prison. He takes her car when ever he feels like it, steals money from her purse, and has taken her ATM card and cleaned out her bank account more than once. And still she hasn't pressed charges on him ... because he's her son, and because she is so afraid of him. She's even spent thousands of dollars on lawyers for him because she thinks she needs to because she's his mother! And just a few days ago he was raging at her, put his hands around her neck and tried to strangle her! She managed to get away from him (she's 67, remember?) and ran to a neighbor's house and the neighbor called 911. Even then she probably wouldn't have pressed charges against him but because of the obvious marks and bruises on her neck the police arrested him and charged him with abuse of an elderly person. He was supposed to be held without bond this time but now somehow he's out of jail and she's terrified that he will show up at her house again! I told you all of that because THIS is what happens when these situations are allowed to continue, when the parent continues to enable the "child" instead of putting a stop to it! It happens more often than you think. PLEASE stand strong, stop enabling him, hold him accountable for his actions, and don't let this be you in a few years! [/QUOTE]
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I know I've done the right thing but it hurts so much!!
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